Don't Let Go
by Ravenus
Summary: AU. Angel!Cas, Human!Dean, no hunters. Angels and Demons are fighting their eternal fight and some of them have come down to earth to fight on among mankind. This is where it starts: Dean gets sucked into a battle that is absolutely not his own and once he has touched the angel, the human can't let go. Rated M /COMPLETE /CHAPTERS UPDATED!
1. Chapter 1

Notes: This is a complete AU. Angel!Cas, Human!Dean, no hunters. Angels and Demons are fighting their eternal fight and some of them have come down to earth to fight on among mankind. This is where it starts: Dean gets sucked into a battle that is absolutely not his own and once he has touched the angel, the human can't let go.

_**Don't Let Go**_

Chapter 1:

**Finding Him**

_The Demon_

It was highly uncommon for a demon to break through the gates of Hell and get to earth but this rare specimen of his race was cunning and clever, he knew his ways and tricks so it was easy for someone like Crowley to leave the depths of hell and the battlefields behind to go forth to earth where humans lived. They were so blissfully unaware of the war that was raging in Heaven and Hell, humankind never knew that each days thousands of holy and unholy creatures died in their eternal fight for dominance and Crowley loved it this way. It made him able to add a new depth to the fights and Heaven would love it! Ages ago the so called celestial creatures decided that their fight was not be fought on earth but Crowley thought that this was going to be lots of fun. And so he was the first demon since the dark middle ages – those have been great times! – to set his foot upon neutral ground.

With a smirk the second in command of hell stood on a skyscraper and looked down into the shining abyss that was called New York. Even in the middle of the night people and cars were bustling about like ants, unaware of the evil that stood on a rooftop, looking down at them without pity but with curiosity and lots of corrupting thoughts. Maybe the demon would be able to recruit humans to fight by his side, maybe he was able to plant a tiny seed from that would grow a new world wide war. It should be easy… the last two world wars haven't even needed a demon to start them. Crowley broke into an evil laugh when he thought about the nuclear, chemical and biological weapons that humanity had developed and how fast they would kill themselves with it. Stupid creatures. He didn't understand why God had created them and why the angels still tried to protect His creation. Maybe they were just as dumb.

While he was looking down to the streets Crowley thought about what he should do next. To be honest he hadn't considered that he would get to earth so quickly and without any occurrences. It had been easier than he thought and maybe this was a trap but he would watch out for sure. The most important thing, now that he was here was, to find a way to get humans involved into their fight. Maybe he should find the evil ones – it wouldn't be too hard, some of them gathered in what they called the "White House", "Kreml", "Bundestag", Downing Street" and whatever. So perhaps it would be even more funny if he found some righteous men to corrupt them. Recruiting those who already had a dark soul was a children's game, the real challenge was to gain the trust and loyalty of the good people. It would be more fun for him to see a good man fall and it would hurt Heaven even more to lose their dumb sheep.

When Crowley saw a human he could instantly tell if their soul tended to be good or bad, if they were easy targets for him or not. And as he was watching them from above he figured that it was really hard to find the truly good people. Those walking around in the streets had gloomy, dark thoughts, they weren't expecting too much of their lives, they knew that the world wasn't a good place. They gave up too fast. That meant that a good soul, that tried to see the best in humankind was precious. Destroying it would be a crime and a provoking act. If Crowley didn't already have the attention of Heaven for just wandering upon earth, he would certainly get it if he destroyed a good soul to drag it into darkness…

So Crowley made his decision to find a righteous man, to destroy him, to kill his hope and paint his soul black from the inside out. It would be so much fun! But the demon was sure that he wouldn't find a pure soul in a city like New York. Maybe he would find some good souls, some pious humans but in the end they wouldn't be the ones he was looking for. No, for the beginning he needed a soul that would mean a loss for Heaven, a soul that was good through and through. The human he was looking for wouldn't have to be a religious person. Even the bad people prayed to God, hoping for salvation that wouldn't come. Some truly good souls didn't even believe in God but it made no difference: good was good and bad was bad. Crowley knew that humans tried to avoid thinking in "black and white" and they tried to believe that there were some "gray areas", too, but there weren't. It really was that easy!

After a few hours of just watching the streets of the big city Crowley got up from where he was sitting and forced his outward appearance to match that of a raven, a simple bird that no one would look at twice. At least that was what people would see if they looked at him. In fact he rose to his true form, spreading his wings and taking off the building, gliding through the canyons of those huge houses and buildings. No, he wouldn't find his soul here. He flew higher into the sky, it got darker when the lights grew smaller and then he turned to the land that lay behind New York. The land that some humans had once called the "new world". It wasn't a new world. It had just been an untouched part of the old world but once people had set their foot upon it, it was doomed as well. Crowley sighed. Humans tended to destroy everything they found. Just like him… He needed to find someone who was the complete opposite and maybe he would find them deeper into the country.

It took Crowley six days and six nights to finally see the bright light of a pure soul on the horizon and finally on the seventh day he was close to the soul. The man that possessed this completely good soul lived in a small town in Kansas, he worked hard for a living and with the money he earned he helped his little brother who needed it for his education. The man was so righteous that Crowley nearly gagged when he looked at him closer. True good caused him physical pain, especially when it was as pure as the good within this man. Then he broke into laughter. How stupid to work for others, why did this man even care? But it would all be in vain because sooner or later Crowley would destroy him and his good attitude, he would make sure that not even a spark of this bright, sickening light was left in this man's soul.

Now, the righteous man was still unaware of the evil that loomed in the distance to get him but soon he would know what it meant to get corrupted!

_The Angel_

They had sent him to earth. It wasn't common for an angel to leave Heaven for another purpose than the fight and Castiel felt honored that he was chosen to be the one who should find and safe the righteous man. He hated the battlefields and he hated the fight between Heaven and Hell. It was senseless, they would go on for all eternity because there was a balance between good and evil that could hardly be destroyed by just killing each other. The battle was now raging on since the Fall of humanity, since the moment Adam accepted the apple from Lucifer. The seraph wasn't as old as time but he had seen the milennia and he knew nothing but fighting. So maybe here was the end to it. That was why he had accepted this mission so gladly when Michael had approached him a few days ago. "A demon went to earth." Michael had said to Castiel. "He is looking for a pure soul to corrupt for his evil deeds but what he will find isn't just a pure soul, Castiel, he will find the Righteous Man." At first Castiel hadn't understood what the archangel was telling him, so he had asked him what it meant. Michael's face was a dark mask, Castiel had never seen his superior so worried.

"Since the beginning of humankind there was a man in every generation with a soul so pure that he is called the Righteous Man. He is the only one who holds the balance between good and evil upright. If the demon finds him and destroys the last spark of goodness within him, the balance will falter and be destroyed. Evil will win the eternal fight and darkness will reign till the end of time. We cannot let this happen, seraph! Go to earth, find the Righteous man before the demon does. Protect him. Keep his pure soul from evil, Castiel." And so Castiel had left Heaven and the battlefields behind to set his foot upon earth for the first time in his life. It was so different from what he had imagined: people weren't just using the things God had given them, they had created new things, such as cars and something they called electricity. They could make their own light from nothing, they didn't need the sun and so a night on earth wasn't as dark as Castiel had suspected. It was strange to see those things, it felt wrong and it disturbed the angel but he had no time to adjust, he needed to find the Righteous Man before the demon would find him.

Castiel began his search in a huge town people called Los Angeles, he thought this was quite a good place to begin with since it was called like his kind. Certainly no truly good person was to be found in a huge city like this. Sure, good people existed but the Righteous man was nowhere to be found. So Castiel spread his wings and went on deeper into the country where he found a city called Las Vegas. He searched this city as well but soon he found that this was a place where most of the Seven Sins became alive. No good man would come here if he was in his right mind. Appalled the angel went on, searching in huge cities and small towns, trying to find the bright soul he was looking for. He knew that the man had to be found as fast as possible but it took him five days and six nights to find the Righteous man in a small town in Kansas.

The man was working hard for the money he lived on and he supported his brother with his wages. Castiel broke into a smile when he saw the beacon of light in the distance that told him that this was the person he was looking for. Yes, this man truly possessed a pure soul he was the least selfish being Castiel had ever seen and the passion that he held to help his brother was impressing even for an angel. As far as the seraph could tell there was no demon near this small town and so he landed on a building that was near the Righteous Man's house. It was early dawn and Castiel could see the man he was looking for from where he sat on the rooftop. He was still sleeping, a black cat curled up next to his shoulder, completely trusting her owner. The creature was right to trust him because the man she was sleeping next to was good through and through though he didn't really know it. He just tried his best and was unaware of the role he played in God's master plan. With a ruffle of feathers Castiel stood up and flew over to the house, reading the name that was written next to the doorbell. Dean Winchester. The angel whispered the name to himself and found it very pleasing to his tongue and fitting for the Righteous Man.

Carefully Castiel made sure that he looked human before he entered the house silently. With his wings hidden he wouldn't scare Dean and could explain that he was an angel and that he was here to protect Dean from every evil that could occur to him. The plan was easy and Castiel was sure that he would convince Dean within seconds and so he stepped into the bedroom of the man and stopped dead in his tracks. The man that lay in the soft cushions was even more beautiful than from a distance and his soul shined brightly, making Castiel wonder if it was even possible to destroy the goodness in it completely. He had never looked at a human that closely but he was sure that no other man matched the beauty of this specimen. His skin was perfectly tanned, his face shaped in fine lines as well as his body. He was a beautiful thing to look at and the angel found himself smiling. Yes, he would protect this human being, he wanted to be as close to the bright light of his soul as possible and so he stepped up closer to the bed, still staring at the sleeping man. The cat looked up at Castiel but as the angel wasn't a threat to her or her human she soon curled up again to go back to sleep.

As the sun slowly crept higher Castiel just stood next to the bed, still marveling at the sight before him. He didn't know if he should wake up the man but after what seemed like an eternity the decision was taken from him when something blared loudly next to him, making the angel jump and the Righteous Man wake up. Castiel glared at the thing with glowing digits from which the sounds came – most likely supposed to be music – but then he turned his attention back to the man in bed and was again speechless when he looked into the greenest eyes he had ever seen. They instantly reminded him of untouched forests, far away from civilization and they held an intelligence that was hard to place. But within seconds they turned huge when Dean's sleep clouded mind was able to process that a man was standing right next to his bed.

It took him only seconds to lurch himself at the angel and Castiel fell to the ground unceremoniously where he realized two things: the Righteous Man was stronger than he had expected and he slept completely naked.

**TBC**

_A/N: Please have mercy on me as English isn't my first language._

_Reviews are loved!_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**Found**

_The Human_

It had been a long day for Dean Winchester and he breathed a sigh of relief when he fell into bed that night. For a few seconds he just lay there with his arms and legs spread apart, enjoying the warmth of the sheets against his back before he crawled underneath to curl up on his side. He waited for his cat Missy to climb into his bed as well as she always did and only when she had curled up next t him he closed his eyes and waited for sleep to come. It wasn't easy and soon Dean realized that he would like awake for a while longer as his thoughts were running around his head. Today he had learned that his boss would sell the diner he worked at to a larger company and he had explained that maybe they would lose their jobs soon. Ashe, Jo and Dean hadn't taken the news well, of course but Dan had insisted that he had no other choice. Yeah, sure…

Dean still had his job at the garage of his uncle Bobby but normally he only worked there on occasion if Bobby had more customers than he could handle and his uncle sure as hell couldn't afford Dean as a regular employee so maybe he had to find himself a new job, maybe he had to move away – he hated that thought – to afford his own life and the college fee for his little brother Sammy. Damn, he would hate to tell Sam that he couldn't send him money every month like he did until right now. So his mind raced with the possibilities he was running over in his head but there wasn't much he could do. This town was way too small for great opportunities but he loved to live here. Lawrence was his home town, he was born and raised here. Dean wasn't sure what he would do if he had to leave his friends and what little was left of his family behind…

The man turned around to Missy and let his arms sneak around the cat who made herself comfortable in the crook of his elbow, purring and comforting him with her warmth and the soft sounds. She seemed so content and so oblivious to Dean's problems. Maybe that was what made her such good company. Bobby often told him that a man his age should go out and find a nice woman instead of living with an animal but no woman Dean had ever met had been interesting enough to meet her a second time. Of course there had been girls in his life but it never lasted long. Some took too much from him, some didn't understand that he worked long hours to support his brother and therefore seldom had time to meet with them. But what did he care? As long as Sammy was happy, Dean was happy and some day the person who would understand that he did everything for his brother would waltz into his life.

"Sleep well, sweetie." Dean murmured into the cat's ear that twitched in response to his breath tickling her. It was amazing how much a purring kitten could soothe one's mind. Now it didn't take Dean long to fall asleep and within a few minutes his mind was embraced by welcome darkness. From many previous nights before the man knew the dreams that would come to him: he dreamed of strange winged creatures fighting, he could see them from a distance, standing on a hill from which he could watch the battlefield in whole. On one side were those with black leather wings, they were lurking in the darkness and he was unable to tell their number but no matter how many fell there were always creatures following, their number was never decreasing. On the other side were the creatures with their wings made of feathers and light. There was no darkness surrounding them, just a blinding light from which ever new creatures emerged. Just like the dark creatures their number never decreased there was always a battle going on where they met in the middle. They clashed together in an explosion of black darkness and colorful lights. It was just as beautiful as disturbing.

Dean never knew what this dream meant. It had begun in his childhood, the day his mother had died in the fire while saving his little brother who had still been a baby back then. Maybe the events of this fateful day had triggered this dream, the man wasn't sure but all he knew was that, whenever he was close to waking up, he saw a pair of bright yellowish wings and eyes of such a deep blue that it reminded Dean of the ocean on a bright sunny day. The eyes seemed to belong to one of the bright creatures but whenever Dean tried to focus, dark leathery wings clouded his vision like a curtain falling shut on a stage. And then the dream ended. Today it was his alarm that woke him with music. Fuck, he really felt tired, still. At first Dean hesitated to open his eyes, he wanted to go on sleeping, he wasn't prepared to wake up yet, but when he finally opened his eyes, he was instantly awake.

He didn't believe his eyes for there, in front of his bed, stood a raven haired man with the bluest eyes Dean had ever seen. To be precise: those eyes he had seen not a minute ago in his dreams. The man reacted on instinct, damn, there was a man standing in front of his bed, just staring at him with his – plump, pink, gorgeous – lips slightly parted. How had this pervert gotten into his house anyways? Dean jumped at him with a scream to throw him to the ground and just a second after he had pinned the man's shoulder to the ground his black haired head followed with a loud thud, making Dean wince inwardly.

"Why're you here?" Dean snarled, blue eyes staring up into green eyes, then sliding down his nude body and back up to his eyes again. "Who're you?" He demanded when the stranger didn't say a word. The face Dean stared at was handsome to say the least. Slight stubble covered the man's strong chin, his mouth was wide, made for laughter and kisses, his nose was straight and his eyes… Those eyes matched the rest of him just perfectly in a sharp contrast to his raven black hair. Dean had never seen a man he would call beautiful but for the one who was now lying underneath him, shoulders pinned to the ground, he found no other words. They both stared too long, waiting for the other to say a word but it was Castiel who got impatient after a few seconds and stood up, pushing Dean off his body effortlessly and in the same movement he grabbed the man shoulders and also pulled him into a standing position.

"I am an angel of the Lord. My name is Castiel." Silence. Dean was trying hard to figure out if he should laugh or throw the stranger out of his house immediately but something in the way the man carried himself made him keep his mouth shut. He didn't believe in God, if there was one, he was angry at him because He had taken too much from the older Winchester and his brother already. Without an answer, Dean turned around and grabbed a jeans and a tshirt that lay on the chair next to his bed to pull them on, contemplating his answer. Maybe the raven haired was a nut case who broke into his house and nut cases had to be handled with care. Dean had learned this the hard way. "Did you hear what I told you?" The man asked when Dean pulled the old Metallica shirt over his head.

"Yeah… think so." He mumbled, still unsure what to do. When the man – Castiel – stared at him expectantly, Dean decided that he should answer more precisely. "Erm… An angel. You sure?" Was all he could think of. His comment made Castiel tilt his head in such a cute gesture that Dean instinctively took a step back only to feel the sheets of his bed on the back of his legs. The man in the trench coat just followed him, to stand too close to Dean, invading his personal space with – obviously – no second thoughts.

"Yes, I am completely sure that I am an angel of the Lord. I was sent to find you, Dean Winchester. You are the Righteous Man." Castiel explained and this time Dean wasn't able to hold back the laughter. The "angel" looked at him with his stoic expression, patiently waiting until the fit of laughter was over and Dean would listen again. "I was not aware of the fun in this situation. You are in danger and I am here to protect you from it."

"Okay, listen, buddy." Dean said. He wasn't a patient person and the man in front of him was pushing his luck immensely. "You're not an angel, I'm not in danger and now you will drag your sorry drugged ass out of my house, got it?" He tried to shove the man back from him with his hands on his shoulders, but he wouldn't move an inch. Damn this guy was strong.

"My rear is not intoxicated, as far as I know."

"Whatever. Just get out of my house and don't come back." Dean snarled but still Castiel didn't move.

"You are very hostile, human. I thought angels were a good thing to you?" Castiel asked and seemed truly confused.

"Guess that only applies for humans who believe in God, Heaven and angels…"

"You don't believe in angels? But here I am."

"You're a guy in a trench coat, I'm not convinced." Castiel glared at Dean with such a deep frown that he actually looked kind of dangerous, now, and the man thought he had made a mistake, but then the stranger took a step back from him, closed his eyes and arched his back. Okay, so he was a pervert. Great. And he was in Dean's house. Fuck. Just his luck after his bad day yesterday. When Dean looked back up at the stranger, he gave a surprised – completely manly! – yelp and stumbled back onto his bed, hitting the wall on the opposite side of it. What he saw was definitely a nice trick because right behind the stranger was something like wings! Feathers ruffled while he moved them, expanded them, so that their tips touched the walls.

"As I told you, Dean Winchester, I am an angel of the Lord." He said with his ice cold blue stare turned directly towards Dean. Said man sat on the bed, part of him was scared, part of him was fascinated. It took him a few moments to recover from his shock, but then he got up again – making sure that the angel couldn't trap him again – and walked towards him slowly, his right hand raised as if he wanted to touch the feathers but when Castiel folded them together with another loud ruffle, Dean took a step back again, lowering his hand.

"Are they… are they real?" The older Winchester brother gasped out and walked around the stranger to look if the white feathers were really connected to his back. It seemed so and that was what disturbed Dean the most. He stared at the white wings that glowed in a faint yellow light, he couldn't believe it. Maybe he was still dreaming. It would all make sense because these blue eyes and these yellow wings were things from his recurring dreams. "I'm still sleeping." He murmured, then reached out his hand to carefully touch the soft fabric that felt better than anything he had ever touched before. The man wanted to bury his hands in the downs to play with them, to caress them, to feel each and every inch under his fingertips. The angel gave a surprised moan when Dean touched the feathers and turned them away from the human. "Did I hurt you?" Dean asked, still mesmerized by what he had just experienced. Now that he had touched the wings he wasn't so sure if he was still dreaming, he felt strange, warm and … at home. He stared at Castiel's blue eyes. They softened a bit when they met Dean's forest green eyes.

"No, it did not hurt." Castiel whispered, staring too long, too forlorn into the human's eyes. Dean's soft touch had done something to them that gave both of them a weird feeling.

"Are you real? Seriously?" Dean wanted to know when he was able to breathe again. He could still feel that warmth that radiated from Castiel's wings and he still felt the electricity that the soft touch had sent through his whole body. Part of him wanted to touch every inch of Castiel's wings and every part of his body but he suppressed it and tried to focus. For the first time since his mother had died, Dean felt helpless and utterly lost.

"Obviously." The angel breathed out and Dean could see that he had had an impact on him as well. Then, as if nothing had happened, the wings vanished again from his sight and Castiel seemed to have recovered from whatever had happened. "I am not lying to you, Dean, I have no reason to do that. You are very important for the balance between good and evil and right now a demon is trying to find you. He is not only a threat to you but to the whole humanity." Right now, Castiel wasn't so sure if he cared about the rest of humanity. He wanted to protect Dean and the urge was becoming stronger with every second since Dean's hand had touched his wing. Was this supposed to happen? Maybe it was a part of the plan but somehow the seraph suspected that it was not…

"A demon…? You want me believe in demons, too?"

**TBC**

_Please let me know what you think about it so far!_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Belief**

He was too late! Of course a damn angel had found the pure soul a few breaths before he had. Crowley was fuming while he stood outside of the house of the man with the pure soul. It wasn't just any man or any soul. It was the Righteous Man. The demon had heard the rumors about such a thing back in hell but they were as old as time and he would never have guessed that these rumors were true. Obviously they were and it made him even madder because if he had known he would have searched this man earlier. How the hell did Heaven know that he was on his way to find this man? Crowley's jaw was set in a grim line, he was angry beyond belief. If this mission wasn't of such great importance he would burn this house and the town to the ground within seconds!

'Get a grip!' He told himself and slowly made his way to the back of the house. Now that he had to change his plans, he could as well find out what the Righteous Man looked like and what angel was with him right now. The backyard was small, there was an equally small veranda with two chairs and a tiny table and around him were flowers of each color growing wildly. Of course such a soul had a hand for gardening, he was pure, he was life in every aspect of the word and Crowley hated him instantly. When he walked closer to the house he saw the window to the man's bedroom. It was just above the small veranda and the demon spread his wings to fly up and peek inside. There was the bright light of the pure soul. The man was standing in the middle of the room, staring at the angel who had spread his wings wide. Of course the human was stunned. Dumb creatures. They knew so little about their world and what lay beyond… The angel was a seraph. So Heaven was sending out one of their best and most loyal servants to get this man. Crowley wouldn't do it any other way because right in front of him stood the rise and fall of humanity, the most important link that devided shadow from light and Crowley knew that the Righteous Man could destroy the world within seconds if he lost his light.

The seraph was eying the human carefully and much to Crowley's surprise he didn't flinch away when he reached out to touch the wing of the angel. The demon's eyes went wide because for a second the bright light of the angel's wings and the light of the human's soul merged together and shone so damn bright that he had to close his eyes against it. Crowley knew that angels were protective about their wings, they were sacred and not to be touched by anyone. For a few seconds he waited for the angel to spin around and kill the human for his misdeed but he just stood there, rooted to the spot and staring into the eyes of the other man. What was happening in there? Was it because the human was the Righteous Man? Again he fumed that he hadn't found him first…

Then something dawned on the demon when he watched the angel hide his wings and stare at the man. There was something between these two, something new and unspoken and if Crowley would pull the right strings and triggers he could not only make the Righteous Man fall but also an angel of the Lord. Holy fuck, this was just perfect! With a barking laugh his head fell back and he winged away, rubbing his hands as he did so. This would be so much fun!

XxX

Dean leaned with his back against his fridge and was silently nursing a cup of coffee while Castiel was walking around the kitchen to have a look at everything he found of interest to him. Obviously the angel hadn't been to earth in a long time – if at all – and it was kind of amusing to watch his face contort in thinking while he was pondering what the toaster was meant for. Slender fingers reached out to carefully touch the silvery surface of the thing and Dean had to stifle a laugh at that. The silent sound made the raven haired man turn around to look at Dean. Castiel didn't say anything, he just tilted his head to the side and looked at Dean with a silent question in those deep blue orbs. "Have you ever left Heaven?" Dean asked, somewhat unsure of how to phrase the question before he decided to get straight to the point. At least that was what Castiel had done when he had shown him his wings, so that should be okay for the heavenly creature, right?

"The last time I was on earth it was still so raw… There were deep woods, with huge trees and the continents were just beginning to drift apart. I was observing the life that began to crawl out of the oceans and I wondered why my Father had created something as … unfinished as these creatures." Castiel said and found Dean with his mouth wide open, staring. "We knew that His most amazing creation was yet to come and we watched the dinosaurs rise and fall before the first men set foot upon His holy land and…" He stopped when he saw that Dean was still gaping. "That wasn't the explanation you were looking for?" The other man shook his head, then nodded. Now he was really looking for the right words.

"Damn, Cas." Was all he could think of and again he earned a head tilt. Dean was beginning to think that it was kind of adorable. Then he shook his head to get the thoughts out of his mind. The man was an angel, he knew him for less than an hour and most of all: Dean Winchester was straight!

"Cas?" The inclination increased so that the angel's ear was nearly touching his shoulder.

"Erm… shit, sorry, it wasn't meant to insult you I just – well… - you got a long name…" Dean stammered and at the same time smacked himself mentally for acting like a teen aged girl. When he saw a slight smile spread on Castiel's face Dean's stomach made a funny jolt he had never experienced before. Maybe that was due to the fact that he had never seen someone as beautiful as this angel and the wrinkles that formed next to his eyes while he smiled gave Dean some strange reactions. An increased heartbeat for example. Fuck, what was wrong with him?

"I'm not insulted." Castiel mused while his eyes gently roamed over Dean's face. "You're just the first one who made up a nickname for me." He paused for a few seconds, seemingly thinking it over. "I like it." He said then and it made Dean smile and somewhat proud. 'Damnit Winchester, get a grip!' Dean thought to himself.

"You're what? A million years old and the other angels never gave you a nickname?" He asked, trying to melt sarcasm into his voice but he was honestly impressed and surprised. Surprised because Castiel had always been Castiel even if it was a long name and impressed because this man had apparently seen the world itself grow and develop. This was something Dean's mind couldn't even grasp.

"No. I'm more than a billion of years old. But why should the angels change my name? I got it from my Father and thus it is regarded perfect. My brothers and sisters would never dare to shorten my name." The angel stepped closer towards Dean, again invading his personal space and it made the human more than uneasy. "But you dare. And I like it." Dean gulped while he desperately tried not to blush. He used his coffee cup to bring something between them and raised it to his lips, drinking the hot liquid slowly. Cas eyed him, curiously watching him gulp down his coffee. "How does it taste?" He asked curiously coming even closer to Dean's face, sniffing carefully. His nose wrinkled and again Dean felt something in him burn that he hadn't even noticed before Castiel had waltzed into his life. Without another word he handed the cup to the angel and watched as he analyzed the liquid inside. He sniffed, turned the cup around in his hands, watched and finally dipped a finger into the coffee, watching a small drop run down over his finger.

All the time he stood as close to Dean as before, not bothering to take a step back, obviously totally comfortable with their chests and faces nearly touching. When Cas raised his finger to his lips to lick the drop of coffee from it, Dean nearly gasped out loud but instead he managed to hide it behind a cough and finally managed to step away from the other man, making his way over to the toaster where Cas had stood before. The angel made a little sound of approval, something between a mewl and a moan before he began to sip the coffee from the cup. "It is great. It tastes… bitter?" He asked and Dean nodded.

"Yeah… coffee is supposed to wake you up." The human answered and tried not to watch Castiel too closely as he drank the remains of his coffee. With a sigh Dean rubbed his forehead with his hands and tried to think over what happened within the last 24 hours: he was nearly sure that he would lose his job and would have to cut some of the money he sent to his brother every month, he had learned that there were creatures who claimed to be angels and had wings to prove their point and he was highly confused by the feelings that rose in him when he was near the angel. Great. So it was time for some good news but he wasn't sure if he should expect any… He needed more coffee and so he grabbed a new cup and filled it to the rim, staring into the blackness. Maybe he was just now realizing that his life had changed and that maybe his view on the world should shift a little bit. He still wasn't sure if he believed in angels and Heaven and most of all God. He had never thought that these things were real but there was a man in his kitchen who had a pair of fucking wings!

Dean's hand rubbed his eyes again while he tried to process it all. When he removed it, he nearly jumped, because the angel was standing right in front of him again. "Dammit, Cas!" Dean exploded, earning a somewhat surprised look from the other man. He sighed and lowered his voice when he saw blue eyes grow large – really large! "You can't just stand that close to a person. I need you to respect my personal space, okay?" Dean asked and with his huge eyes, Castiel nodded silently and took a step back from the human.

It was all so strange and new to Castiel, he had never been with humans before and apparently there were some rules you had to follow if living among them. And also there was the taste of the coffee that was so great that he wanted more. He held his cup out to Dean and without any words the man poured him some. It was gone within a minute while both men just stood there in silence, sipping their coffee. Castiel was completely at ease with silence, he didn't know that humans decided between a comfortable silence and an awkward silence, so as there was nothing more he had to say, he just kept his mouth shut. So the first rule was not to stand too close to a human. It seemed hard because he wanted to be as close to Dean as possible to protect him. If the demon would attack every inch would count. He had to find a distance that wouldn't bother Dean while he could still keep him safe. In fact the closeness to the human made him feel warmer inside. It was as if he could still feel Dean's fingers on his wings. The appendages were sacred to an angel, no one was supposed to touch them as they were highly sensitive but it hadn't REALLY bothered him that Dean had touched them and in fact he wanted him to do it again and again.

Maybe it had been a mistake that Dean had lain hands upon his wings but now it was too late to think about it. It hadn't been a mistake in Castiel's eyes but his brothers and sisters would know that someone had touched his wings when they saw him again and he was sure that they wouldn't approve of it. Dean was a human after all, he had to keep his distance but the angel didn't like it…

"So what happens next?" Dean asked, then shook his head as he walked to the sink to rinse his cup. When he was done Castiel followed him, mimicking his movements to clean the small piece of china in his hands. Before he could answer, Dean went on, his voice filled with disbelief. "Yesterday I didn't even believe in angels. But you really are an angel, right?" When Dean turned to face Cas who stood right behind him, he flinched a bit but didn't say a word. It wasn't necessary because Castiel learned fast and he took a small step away from the human.

"Do you need another proof? Aren't my wings proof enough for you?" He asked and blinked. A second later he reappeared behind Dean, tapping his shoulder in the process. "I'm right behind you, human." He said and couldn't help but find the puzzled look on Dean's face adorable. He did it again and this time reappeared by the kitchen door. "Believe me. I am an angel." Castiel said with a smile that Dean mirrored after a few seconds. The two men stood rooted to the spot and again Castiel noted the greenness of Dean's eyes that was so pure and soft like his very soul. They were staring at each other for a few seconds too long before the human cleared his throat again.

"So if it is true what you say, what are you supposed to do? Or what am I supposed to do?" He asked and made a forlorn gesture with his arms.

"I will stay close to you and try to keep the demon away from you." Castiel said as if it was obvious.

"And there are other angels who are currently trying to get him?" Dean asked, keeping his question vague because he wasn't sure if he would like the fact that other angels killed someone only because of him. Well, and because of the rest of humanity. His head began to hurt when he thought too close about it and so he just tried to avoid it.

"No. I'm the only angel on earth."

"A lone angel is supposed the whole of humanity?" Dean asked skeptically and knew that he had made a mistake when Cas squared his jaw and shoulders to appear taller. It didn't work but it was the look in those fierce and unafraid blue eyes that made Dean think that a lone angel was enough.

"I will be more than enough, believe me. I have killed more demons than you can imagine. My garrison never lost a battle when I was in command. Don't you ever dare doubt my abilities to fight!" Castiel said and his rich, deep voice filled the kitchen with something like electricity. Dean loved to hear him talk like this and in the next second hated himself for that thought. Damn, this was an angel, a sacred being from Heaven and he was turned on by his dominant voice… With a sigh he closed his eyes and silently counted to ten.

"Sorry, angel. I'm just… new to all this, you know?" Castiel just nodded. "So… I have to go to work in about an hour. Does it mean you will come with me and sit there, waiting until I'm done for today?"

"I need to keep you safe. It is the most important thing. I hope you don't mind me being close to you. I can make myself invisible to the human eye. Like I do with my wings…" The angel suggested. That sounded okay to Dean and so he nodded.

"It would be hard to explain that the man in the trench coat is an angel who has come to earth to protect me and humankind." The human explained. Castiel looked at him blankly. "No one will believe that you're an angel."

"I could show them my wings like I did…" Dean cut him off with a laugh that made his eyes sparkle. Castiel observed him, marveled at the beauty of his face as he did so because the Righteous Man was even more beautiful when he laughed. Castiel wanted to go over and touch his freckled skin of his face, cup his cheek in his hand and promise that he would give his own life to safe Dean's but the man's previous speech about personal space kept him from doing so and so he just waited until the laughter ebbed away and Dean looked at him again.

"I would love to see Jo's face when you show her your wings but I guess it would be better if you stay covered while I'm at work."

**TBC**

_Please let me know what you think!_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Attack**

The day at the diner went by highly uneventful. Jo was on shift with him and Dean could see that the young woman was thinking about her future as well. She needed the job to pay her own education, she went to college, studying to become a vet some day. Dean could imagine her so well in this job, she was a kind woman and open and he had seen her with Missy more than once. This woman was made to work with pets but if she lost her job at the diner her dream could evaporate in front of her own eyes. Dean hated to think about it and from the gloomy mood she was in he suggested that she was thinking about her future as well. They tried to joke around lightly as they always used to do but it didn't work today and so they soon gave up on it and worked in silence.

The customers didn't know about the change that was soon to come and so they were chatting animatedly. But they wouldn't care even if they knew. Why would they? Dean sighed and grabbed two plates with burgers, fries and salad on it to serve them to the shop owner from across the street who owned the book store Dean loved so much. He came to the diner every Wednesday to have lunch with his wife who worked at the Laundromat three days a week. Dean knew his customers well, it was a small town and the diner was one of only two restaurants that served food in this town. He couldn't imagine it any other way, it was this way since he could think.

When he got back to the counter to prepare some cokes and beers he spotted a new customer sitting on one of the chairs right in front of the counter. The man looked so average that it was hilarious. He was pale and had grey eyes, he was average old, average tall and average weight. But there was something about him that made Dean look at him twice. The man's eyes seemed fixed on a spot right behind Dean and he seemed to follow his every move though his eyes were looking at a spot just above the older Winchester's left shoulder. In fact he was glaring and it kind of scared the waiter. "What can I get you?" He asked, trying to sound lightly, while his brain was processing the strange man's appearance. He seemed misplaced in a diner.

Now he was looking straight into Dean's eyes, calmly waiting with his response until he had thoroughly observed the waiter's whole face. "Just serve me… something." He made a dismissing gesture. Dean wasn't the most patient person and people like this were able to make him see red. The waiter smirked and leaned over the counter in a relaxed way.

"I'm sorry. Something isn't on our menu. I guess you will have to think your order over." He said, smiling in a dangerous way. The stranger raised his eyebrows and gave a low whistle as he listened to the man talking to him like THAT. Obviously he wasn't used to such a treatment. The man smiled but Dean was sure that his blood was boiling under his skin from the way he looked at him and it only made Dean's smirk wider. "So?" He pushed and the man with the heavy Scottish accent took a glance at the menu that was hanging above Dean's head.

"A cheeseburger." He spit out through gritted teeth, the anger barely hidden. Dean stifled a laugh.

"And?"

"What and?"

"What will your side order be?" Dean made a show of grabbing the pen behind his ear and the notepad from his jean's back pocket. He leaned onto the counter, scribbling down the cheeseburger and with a faked smile he turned back to the man in front of the counter.

"French Fries. Thank you!" Oh, this was fun. From time to time the stranger still stole glances over Dean's shoulder and whatever he saw there it made him even more angry.

"A beer maybe?" Dean went on but now he knew that he had pushed das far as he could go. He grinned broadly and put the notepad away to shuffle towards the kitchen. There was no need for him to write down the orders of a customer as he was well trained over the years and was able to keep everything in mind. But it was just a lot of fun to provoke unfriendly creatures like the Sot in front of the counter. Dean could still feel the piercing gaze at the back of his head but he tried to ignore it.

In the next few minutes the man was almost forgotten because Dean was busy serving dinner to the other customers, he only thought of him again when he placed the plate with his order in front of him. "Hope you like it." Dean said with the honest smile he offered to every customer but the only thing he received in return was a grunt and a rude gesture. The Scot didn't grab his burger, he just sat back and watched it suspiciously, from this angle, then that. Dean had never seen someone eying his food so closely and again he felt as if something was wrong with this stranger.

"And you eat this… food?" The man asked and looked Dean up and down as I he tried to find some injury or so on his body. The waiter threw his arms up in a defensive manner.

"You don't have to. Maybe you prefer to just sit there and stare at it, I won't mind as long as you pay for it." He answered sourly which earned him a glare from the Scot. They glared at each other for a few seconds before the stranger slowly grabbed the burger and bit into it, his eyes never leaving Dean's. He chewed and swallowed and the waiter could say that he was just doing it to gain some time because when he placed his ood on the plate again he seemed a bit calmer. Maybe he had counted to ten in his head, because now he actually was able to give Dean a slight smile. It was false but at least he wasn't complaining any longer.

"You look lonely, waiter." Were the man's next words and they really took Dean off guard. Why did he change the subject like THIS? Dean guessed that his mouth hung open but he really wasn't able to do anything about it. "You truly miss having someone by your side, am I right?" His voice got deeper, it was like venom in Dean's ears and without saying a word the waiter turned around to walk away from this strange person. He really didn't have the time and nerve to talk about his personal life with a grumpy bastard like him. Damn. For a second the older Winchester hesitated, then he went into the storage room behind the kitchen and carefully closed the door behind him. When he was sure that it was locked, he leaned back against one of the shelves and tried to get a grip on his anger.

"He is the demon who is looking for you, Dean." A deep voice said right next to his ear and the waiter flinched. He had totally forgotten about Castiel for a few minutes and was now stunned as the angel appeared in the storage room. Due to the lack of room he was of course pressed to the human's side and Dean tried hard not to notice the fact that he felt the warmth through their clothes and Cas' hot breath on his ear. Had the Scot been right and he was just damn fucking lonely? So lonely that he was getting the hots for a male angel? He turned to look into sharp blue eyes. Okay, so he was thinking that Castiel was beautiful beyond belief but he would never lay a hand on a man. On an angel above all things. Why was his life getting more and more complicated in the last few days? Dean really didn't need any more problems right now…

"Demon?" Dean asked absentmindedly, not really getting what Cas was trying to tell him, he was still busy thinking his life over.

"Yes. You need to be really, really careful around him. Maybe I should get you away from here to keep you safe." Castiel said more to himself than to Dean and with these words he grabbed the human's shoulders to get him as far away from the demon as possible. Dean blinked but when he opened his eyes again he wasn't in the storage room any longer but in the garden of his own house, staring at the raven haired angel who just let go of his shoulder. Dean already missed the warm hands on him but before he could think closer about it, he realized what had just happened.

"Cas." He gasped and stumbled a bit because he vaguely remembered being thrown around for just the blink of an eye. "What the fuck was this?" He felt weak, beaten up and feared that if he had to endure this again he would just faint.

"As I said, Dean, you need to get away from the demon. Stay here." Castile reached into the pocket of his trench coat and drew out a ring with a pentagram on it. It was silver and seemed ancient to the human. "Take the ring, it will protect you if only for a little while if the demon gets close to you. It will buy you some time if I am… not here to help you." 'Dead in other words, killed by the demon!' Dean thought and was utterly shocked by it. The mere thought of the angel not coming back to him tore his heart to pieces. The angel gave it to him and watched Dean carefully as he slipped it onto his finger. It fit as if it was made for him.

"I need to get back to work, angel, I can't just leave. Maybe someone has seen me walking into that storage room. It will scare the shit out of them when I come back through the front door…" Castiel tilted his head again to look at the human.

"It will only take a few seconds to see if the demon is still there. Please, Dean. Let me make sure that you are safe, okay?" He asked and the urgency in his voice was what finally made the waiter nod and then Cas was gone. Fuck, he was already worrying for this man. This wasn't good…

XxX

Crowley knew that the Righteous Man had left the second he was out of the building. Holy Hell, this angel was reacting really fast. The heavenly creature had been so close to the pure soul that the man must have felt him against his back but obviously the waiter hadn't. The angel was protecting him carefully, making sure that the demon wasn't able to hurt or even kill the man they called Dean. Damn, this was bad, why hadn't he been able to find that human before the angel had? And in addition his own impatience was driving him insane. He needed another way to approach the human and he needed a human vessel to do so because now Dean knew his appearance. Maybe a nice young woman would do but then again he wasn't sure if that would interfere with his plan to make both angel and human fall…

Crowley left the diner without paying for his food, he never wanted it, so he sure as hell wouldn't pay for it. The town was small and the list of people he could take as a vessel was short. Maybe he needed another stranger. His eyes fell onto a blond woman and her fair hair brought a memory to his mind: the sweet waitress who had worked together with Dean! Crowley broke into a laugh. This was all just so wonderfully perfect! Still laughing he vanished behind a building, unfurled his leathery wings and took off into the sky. His plan would work out just well.

XxX

"The demon is gone." Castiel said with his deep, calm voice once he was back with Dean. The waiter was sitting on his sofa, his face an unreadable mask. As the angel had never been in the company of humans it was hard for him to read the expression and so he decided to go straight for the point. "Is something wrong, Dean?" He asked and only then did the human look back at him to shake his head no. So if everything was fine why was he sulking like that?

"I need to get back to work, Cas. Can you please take me back into our storage room?" The man said and Castiel tilted his head to try to look behind the façade. Dean's soul was a glowing mass of yellow light behind his eyes, the angel could clearly see it and the colors that spoke of the waiter's feelings and fears but this very soul was hard to decipher. Maybe he was sad or angry, Castiel couldn't tell, all he could tell was that he hadn't expected Dean's answer.

"Of course." He said after a while of staring into Dean's mesmerizing green eyes and stepped over to the human urging him to stand up from the sofa. When he placed his hands on Dean's shoulders again, the man looked up into Castiel's eyes and gave him a slight smile.

"I would never have thought that an angel would take care of me someday." He whispered before he was brought back to the storage room in the diner. "This is all so damn strange, Cas." He went on before he looked at the watch on his wrist. He had only been gone for five minutes and thought that this was okay and wouldn't be noticed by anyone. Castiel held him back when his hand tried to grab the door handle.

"I was sent here to protect you, Dean. Nothing will happen to you, I will stay close." Castiel promised and saw another smile play on Dean's pink lips. A sudden urge to touch them with his fingers arose in the angel but he resisted. He hadn't been to earth to meet humans but he had watched them from time to time and he knew that this wasn't acceptable if you didn't know the other person well enough. Dean nodded and left to go on with his work, an invisible angel close to his heels. But to Castiel it felt as if he knew Dean for ages and it had all started when the man had touched his wings in the morning.

XxX

Jo was getting more and more tired with every minute that passed on her shift. She was closing the diner tonight and after Dean had cleaned the counter and tables he had left to go home and she was kind of jealous of him because she wanted to sit on a comfortable sofa, too, but it would take another half hour for her to get out of here. She turned up the volume on the radio and tried to sing along but even that didn't help her mood today. She was still thinking about the news their boss had broken to them yesterday and she was still trying to find a solution. It would take her another year to finish her studies and she desperately wanted to get through her finals without any trouble and debts. The job at the diner was just perfect for her but now it was all close to breaking together.

The young woman heaved another sigh and opened the lid of the huge coffee maker to clean it from the inside. Another yawn escaped her lips and she shook her head to get it cleared but today it wouldn't work. She wished Dean had stayed a little bit longer to keep her company like he did sometimes when he wasn't too tired but she didn't blame him for leaving. Jo just wished that she could finish everything before midnight and that she got home to her fiancée and sofa and TV quickly.

When she was rinsing the last few glasses in the sink behind the counter she heard the door open. She had forgotten to lock it again. It wasn't that bad. With a huge fake smile on her tired face the waitress turned around to face the late customer. "I'm sorry sir, we're already closed." She said to the man in the suit who was standing by the door, watching her with a creepy smile. Oops, maybe she should have locked the door sooner.

"I don't require your poor food." The man said with a heavy Scottish accent and began to walk towards her slowly. When he was about to round the counter Jo wanted to protest but he held up his hand in a silencing gesture. "But I require your body." The ugly grin spread even wider on his face and Jo backed up against the counter behind her, grabbing a knife that was still lying there, holding it up in a – hopefully – threatening gesture. It made the man laugh at her! Maybe now was a good time to panic, her heart raced incredibly fast, she was afraid and more or less helpless.

"Leave!" The woman tried to scream into the strangers face but it didn't sound as loud as she had intended. The man stood in front of her, now and raised her hand to grab her wrist, the knife falling to the ground with a clatter. Shit, she wanted to go home, she wasn't prepared to die here and now but the merciless grip of the man was only getting harder. With a cruel smirk he grabbed her face with his other hand and Jo saw black smoke rise from his throat, then from his eyes as well. This wasn't normal, was it? The man turned to black smoke completely and when she screamed she felt it entering her mouth, gagging her, making her sick before everything vanished to blackness.

**TBC**

_Kindly leave a review for me. Thank you!_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Betrayal**

Castiel was sitting on the foot end of Dean's bed while the human slept, the cat curled up in his arms, cuddling close to the man's naked chest, looking for warmth Dean was more than happy to give to her. Her black fur was shining even under the pale moonlight that poured through the blinds onto the bed and the angel felt strange when he looked at her cuddling with the man in the bed. Over the last few days the angel had always been close to Dean, no matter where the man was going, the angel was glued to his heels, sometimes visible, sometimes not. The Righteous Man's soul felt great when he was near him but there was also something more growing within Castiel's heart and he was really scared of the feelings he wasn't even close to admit. Angels weren't supposed to fall in love with humans, they existed to serve and protect them. Seraphs like Castiel were even made for the fight with hell, there was barely another purpose for them. Of course angels knew what love was, they fell in love with each other but never with one of God's most sacred creation.

With a sigh Castiel stood up from where he was sitting and walked over to the window to look out into the night. Since he had seen the demon in the diner one week ago, the angel hadn't seen or heard of him again and it made him suspicious, his nerves were tense and he was always looking out if there was any danger close to Dean. Meanwhile Castiel wasn't just here to just protect the Righteous Man, he was here to make sure that Dean was safe. It felt good to be around the human. When Dean was at home Castiel was always with him. He had come to love watching TV, mostly old sitcoms and the taste of pie was very pleasing to his tongue. These impressions were all so new to him and there was still so much about humans and their behavior the angel had to learn but the longer he stayed, the more curious he got. Castiel wanted to know how to read the emotions on their faces – on Dean's face – he wanted to learn about their thoughts and dreams – Dean's thoughts and dreams – and he wanted to stay on earth – stay with Dean.

It was a new development, something he hadn't seen coming when Michael had assigned him to the task to find and safe the Righteous Man from the demon. So many things had changed for the angel and he wasn't sure if he liked it because Heaven wouldn't approve of his affection for humanity and for one of them specifically. Maybe it was fear that held him back from thinking too close about his current situation but he couldn't keep his thoughts in check either. They kept him company till the sun rose and when Dean woke up behind him, Castiel turned around to face the man on the bed with a slight smile.

"Hello, Dean."

XxX

Dean dreamed of nothing but blue eyes and yellow wings lately. They were everywhere in his dreams and they were too close, they were invading his heart and soul not only his private space. He wasn't even sure anymore if he minded Cas invading his private space after all. When The human woke up and opened his eyes the first thing he saw was the raven haired seraph who was standing at the foot of his bed by the window, smiling down at him as if Dean really MATTERED. Well, of course he mattered to the angel because if he was killed, Heaven would lose their eternal fight. But there was also something in Castiel's eyes that lead him to believe that HE mattered, not just his soul and what it meant to the world. While he was waking up, he locked eyes with the angel who returned his gaze steadily. It were moments like this that made Dean's heart flutter just a bit too much and he felt a funny tingling sensation in his stomach that he recognized but ignored.

"Hello, Dean." The angel said, his rough voice gentle nevertheless. It sent a shiver down Dean's spine whenever the deep and calm voice spoke to him. With a final yawn Dean sat up and resisted the urge to grab Cas' trench coat sleeve to pull him down onto the bed. He wasn't sure where this would lead but he sure as hell wouldn't so this to an angel. To a male angel! When the man walked over into the bathroom he mused how it could have come so far, he was really falling for an angel of the Lord… His eyes wandered back to Castiel while he was brushing his teeth, the seraph stood rooted to the spot, patiently waiting for Dean to finish so they could go downstairs to have breakfast. It felt good to prepare two cup of coffee – Dean had found out that Cas liked his with a lot of sugar and a little bit of milk in it – and he liked to make breakfast for the two of them. Having company for once was nice and he wished that the demon would just go back to hell and Cas could stay with him.

Dean would never say a word, though. He was sure that Castiel would loathe him when he found out, why he looked into his baby blue eyes for way too long and that his eyes roamed over Cas' face and body while he thought about how it would feel to touch the flawless skin of the angel. The human still remembered the feeling of the seraph's soft wings under his fingertips and he still felt warm when he thought back to the moment he had touched them and it still made him shudder to think back to this moment.

They went down the stairs and to the kitchen together, Dean had never thought that he would feel so comfortable in the presence of another person in his house but Castiel was perfectly fitting in here. The angel went over to the coffee maker and poured the water and coffee beans into it like Dean had shown him on his first morning, brewing the coffee ever since. Castiel was a fast learner and while Dean put some cereals, milk and toast onto the table, he watched Cas' back as he moved in front o the machine. Graceful movements , Dean noticed, the angel was self assured and the way he carried his own body was the way of someone who knew what he wanted. Dean watched him in awe, like every morning since the angel had arrived and he used the opportunity that Cas didn't see him stare at his back. Sometimes he even wished that the angel would show him hi wings again that he could touch them again and again, caress them like he did with the fur of his little cat.

As if she knew that Dean was thinking about her, the small pet purred around his legs, rubbing her head against his shins, mewing when looking up. Carefully h picked the black thing from the floor and placed her on his lap where she purred even louder than before, turning her head this way and that when the man caressed her behind her ears and under her chin. Before he had found her in a dumpster behind the diner he had never thought that one could feel such deep affection for an animal. When she wanted to get down to the floor again, Dean grabbed her and held her close to his chest for a second, pressing his nose between his ears, then he let go so she could go over and have her breakfast. The human smiled as he watched her, he really couldn't imagine being without her again. After a minute he looked up only to find Castiel standing right next to him and the angel just plainly stared.

"W – what?" Dean asked, being watched so closely made him nervous, especially when it was the seraph's eyes that were on him. Castiel's brows were slightly drawn together, his lips open just enough to let his tongue slip into his angel's mouth and – holy shit, where was this thought coming from? His angel? The human shook his head to get a grip on himself but it was too late, his heart was already beating so fast and loud that he feared Cas would hear it.

"I was just wondering what it feels like." Was the angels answer that made Dean swallow hard. What was the raven haired man talking about? Dean was wondering what it would feel like to press his lips against Castiel's wide mouth, how it would feel when they would hold each other. Hope rose in his chest, followed by fear and panic. Thinking about kissing a celestial creature was surely a sin.

"What it feels like?" Dean repeated, his mouth dry and his voice raspy. He watched Cas sit down at the table as well, placing two cups of coffee on it that were well ignored by the human.

"Being hugged close and loved. It seems that Missy enjoyed it a lot." Dean knew that he stared but he was unable to close his mouth and not stare into Cas' baby blue eyes. Did the angel know that he would love to show him? The last days had been torture, he was so close to doing something definitely NOT righteous. With a few deep breaths Dean tried to calm his heart and mind but it wasn't easy. Once he was sure that his voice wouldn't shake when he was speaking, he gave Cas a bright smile.

"Maybe you will know someday." Another thought occurred to him. "Don't you angels fall in love? I mean… with other angels?" Castiel gave him a sad smile and Dean could have sworn that he had hit a wounded spot in the other man.

"Seraphs are not meant to fall in love. We were created for the fights and battles. We are made to die someday while on duty. There is no other purpose for us."

"Are you serious?" Dean was shocked. When he thought of Heaven things like love and happiness came to mind, not loneliness and fighting. Maybe Heaven was different for angels but he doubted that those who truly believed in God knew this. "So… you will live alone and fight until you die?"

"There is honor in dying for the fight against Hell, you know?" Castiel said but didn't sound convinced himself.

"Does this make you happy?" The question went straight to the point and by the hurt look in Cas' eyes, Dean knew the answer before the angel even opened his mouth to speak.

"We exist to serve God and humanity. Our happiness is not important." It sounded like a mantra they told the angels every day to Dean. Blue eyes were averted when Castiel spoke and he sipped his coffee, all his thoughts written over his face openly. He FELT lonely, he FELT that something was missing and it hurt Dean to know all of this. They sat in silence for a long while, neither saying a word while they began to eat their breakfast. Castiel didn't need to eat regularly but he enjoyed the taste of food nevertheless. He was kind of sweet when he tasted something new and Dean enjoyed showing him his favorite foods and had found out that Castiel liked pie nearly as much as he did. So angels were able to enjoy, they were able to taste different flavors, they were able to think about affection, yet it seemed unfair to Dean that Castiel was nothing more but a drone in the eyes of Heaven.

"I don't get it." Dean mused after a while, still thinking about their conversation as he got up to carry his plate and cup over to the sink to rinse them. Castiel followed him closely and put his things next to the sink, drying what Dean had already cleaned. "God creates you but denies you happiness?"

"Dean…" Cas said, his voice getting deeper with sadness and resignation. "Don't think about it too close. I'm content. My life has a purpose and right now I am happy to be here to safe you. I really enjoy my stay on earth." The words melted something in Dean's heart and he gave Castiel a bright smile.

"You know… I'm happy that you're here, too. It was lonely in this house until you came along. I will miss you, if you leave someday." Dean said and grew very silent when he had finished his sentence because he realized what he had just said to the angel. He could actually feel his cheeks grew red with embarrassment as he looked up at Cas. Like so often before, the angel stood a little bit too close to him, their shoulders nearly touching and he looked at Dean as if he had just proposed to him. "I'm sorry, Cas. I – I hope this wasn't improper, I don't know… you, well,… just forget it." The human stammered, storming out of the kitchen, leaving a stunned Castiel behind. He never saw the smile that spread on the seraph's face.

XxX

At work Dean knew that Cas was with him but the angel was nowhere to be seen, an invisible guardian who cared for his safety. It made the man feel special but he tried not to interpret too much into the fact that Castiel was always around because it was just the angel's mission, nothing more. The face he had made when Dean had said that he missed him still haunted the waiter and he was deep in thought while he was serving at the diner. Jo saw this and came towards him when he made a little break and sat on the stairs of the back door that lead into the kitchen.

"Something's wrong with you, Dean." She said and sat down next to him, leaning in close. "Sometimes you grin from ear to ear and then you seem lost in thoughts. Is it a woman?" Of course his blonde colleague went straight to the point. He wouldn't expect less from her. Dean sighed and turned to face her, silently scanning her face. She was a woman you would call a natural beauty. Her face wasn't perfect but her smile and her gentle words in the right moments made her a real stunner. Dean could well understand why Vincent had asked her to marry him so soon.

"Well. Not exactly." Dean answered vaguely to which she nudged his arm.

"A man then?" She went on, her blue eyes sparkling with something between love and mischief. He knew very well that she wished to find him a mate so that he would be in good hands and happy and it wouldn't matter for her if his mate was male or female or whatever. Jo was the sister he never had and her understanding him so easily was what made him love her. For a few seconds there was a smile on Dean's lips when his thoughts went to Castiel. It wasn't a problem that he was a man, but he was an angel, a celestial being and he would leave once he was sure that Dean was safe again, he would go back to Heaven and forget about the man. Dean was nothing to him, he was just a human and compared to the angel's age he would vanish within the blink of Cas' gorgeous blue eyes. A heavy sigh escaped his lips that made Jo look at him with worry. "So it is complicated?" She inquired.

Of course it was complicated. Dean knew that the angel was close to him this very second and that he would most likely hear what he and Jo were talking about. It didn't make things better, on the contrary. The waiter wasn't even sure what Cas would do to him if he found out that Dean lusted after him. "I should get back to work." The older man mumbled but Jo grabbed the sleeve of his shirt to pull him back down next to her with surprising force. Damn, when she had a lead she really could get curious.

"Oh no, Winchester!" She smiled wickedly. "Tell me the bastard's name. I wanna know everything. Have you already slept with him?" Dean blushed furiously, imagining what Castiel might think right now while Dean talked to Jo.

"Jo, I… hell, no! What do you even think of me?" She grinned like the devil himself.

"Just the best, Dean, just the best." She rolled her eyes. "I know you. You always get what you want."

"Not this time." Dean whispered and hung his head.

"Will you tell me his name or should I guess?"

"You'll never guess… And I won't tell you. Just drop this topic and let's get back to work." He said and got up again. This time she took his hand to make him turn around and look at her.

"Dean… If you want him, tell him. There's nothing worse than a missed chance." Dean gave her a weak smile in return.

"I know. But I guess this time it is more than useless." She stood up to face Dean, searching his face for answers.

"Do it, Dean. Or you might regret it sooner or later. Don't think too much about it."

The waiter nodded and went back into the diner to do his job.

XxX

Cas had followed the conversation between Jo and Dean closely, he had heard every word and right now his head was spinning from what he had heard. So Dean was already in love with someone. Someone Castiel hadn't met yet. He wasn't sure why it hurt so much, why his heart clenched in his chest, when he thought about the Righteous Man loving another human but it was worse pain than he had ever felt before. The conversation left him empty, he followed Dean closely watching his every move while he served burgers and drinks like he had done before and yet it felt different. Castiel was curious who Dean had fallen in love with but on the other hand it was none of his business he was just here to make sure that the human was safe. And he would shred the demon to pieces if he tried to touch Dean.

The angel gasped when he realized that he already got possessive. Of course the demon was to be terminated but the furiousness with which he thought about it scared the raven haired man to no end. Things were getting out of hand and he was unable to do anything about it, he felt it all slip through his fingers while the fate of humanity lay in his very hands. His eyes fell onto Dean again, the green eyed waiter seemed troubled since he had talked to his colleague and it hurt Castiel, he wanted to make it better but wasn't sure how.

He needed to find the demon and safe Dean. Otherwise things would get even messier.

**TBC**

_A/N: I really came to like writing this and hope you like it, too!_

_Please let me know what you think about this._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Warning: Rated M!

**Sin**

When Dean got home in the evening, his hands were shaking from nervousness and the key didn't seem to fit into the lock at first try. He fumbled with the thing and finally got inside of his house, throwing his leather jacket over the back of a chair before he went straight into the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge. Jo was right, he should talk to Cas. No matter what the angel would think of him, he would still stay and he would still help Dean until things were finished. If the human waited too long Castiel would leave without knowing. Or they wouldn't have enough time. No matter how he looked at it, the situation wouldn't work out well. Sitting at the kitchen table, Dean waited for Cas to appear, he knew the angel was close, he could almost feel him breathe down his neck and he wished that he would also feel it while falling asleep because Cas held him in his arms…. With a shake of his head Dean tried to clear these images from his thoughts because they didn't make it easier for him.

"Cas, I know you're here with me. Why don't you let me see you? I need to talk to you." The man said and waited for a response from the angel but he seemed to ignore him. "I know you're here. I can feel you close to me, feathers." Dean didn't know why he was so sure that Castiel was there but he just KNEW, could actually feel blue eyes bore into his head. "Okay, fine! If you chose to not appear it is okay with me. But don't think I'll have mercy on you because you're scared or pissed or whatever." Dean bit out angrily and perhaps a bit louder than he had intended. He braced himself for what he was to say, grabbing the cold bottle in his hands like an anchor to reality. He took a deep breath and tried to steel himself for what was about to come out of his mouth, unsure and afraid like he had never been before.

"I don't know if you want to hear this, feathers." He began. "But I need to say it and I know for sure that you will listen to me while I speak." There was a long pause because the man was searching for the right words, trying not to sound like a girl while he spoke. "You heard me talking to o today, right? Of course you did. I can feel you being close to me like a shadow." Dean gave a slight smile. "And… and she found out that there's a guy I – I like. I've never been into men, I'm not gay and I never thought that I would be. Could be. But…" Dean paused because he could hear his own voice shake. "She told me I should tell him before I might regret something and… well… I guess I should tell you, Cas, that I was talking about you."

There was the faintest rustle of something like wings and the angel in the trench coat appeared in at the table, sitting opposite of Dean, his blue eyes wide with something between shock and panic. Maybe this was the moment Dean would lose his nerves but he held himself together. At least he tried. Before he could speak again he felt the breath hitch in his chest as he looked at Castiel. Gods, this man was beautiful and he wanted him like nothing before. This was more serious than the crushes he had experienced until now. "I – I felt so warm when I touched your wings and it felt so right." He remembered the little noises that had escaped Cas' throat in this moment and the memory still drove him mad. "But this can't be right, because you're an angel and supposed to be chaste and not fall in love and…" he had said it. Said the word he had tried to avoid the whole time. His fearful green eyes turned back to Castiel who was still staring at him with his stoic expression that gave away nothing.

"I want you, Cas." Dean whispered and waited for the angel's reaction, part of him expecting that he would vanish within a second. But Cas didn't run away, he stayed, staring at Dean as if he had grown a second head. The silence was solid for the next few minutes, both men were just staring into each other's eyes and Dean noted that he was trembling like a leaf, afraid of the raven haired beauty's reaction. When Castiel finally stood up, Dean panicked and got up from where he sat as well, trying to hold Cas back from walking out of his life forever. "I'm sorry if what I said offends you. I just…" The angel held up his hand to silence Dean before he walked over to his human with three long strides to press him up against the wall, chapped lips crushing down on Dean's soft mouth without any hesitation. The sheer desperation of Castiel's kiss forced Dean's brain into overload and he wasn't able to suppress the moan that was rising in his chest and made Cas step even closer to his body. Fuck, Dean could already feel his jeans grow tighter he would never have imagined that the angel would react in such an eager way to his words.

"Cas…?" Dean whispered between two kisses, completely forlorn in the angel's treatment already. His uttered question was ignored, the other man made sure that his lips were sealed well so that no word would escape the human until Castiel was done with him thoroughly. But Dean wouldn't have it, he was scared beyond belief, shocked would be a nice way to put it. He grabbed Cas' chin in a firm grip and though the man was strong, he looked up into the waiter's eyes after a few seconds. "I – I … do you really think…" He stopped when he noticed that his voice sounded far away and broken. A shuddering breath and he went on: "Is this really okay?" Okay, that sounded better though still a bit breathless. Dean was amazed that Cas had turned him into a quivering puddle of hormones within seconds.

"You told me you want me." Cas' voice was even darker than usual and hushed with desire. "Don't think about it, Dean." The way the angel said his name did it for the green eyed man. He closed the distance between himself and Cas again to capture those sweet pink lips again for another kiss. They clung to each other like drowning men and the soft noises that rose from Castiel's chest made shivers dance down Dean's spine that pooled in his belly like nervous butterflies. When they came apart for air again Dean noticed that he was pressed up against the doorframe of the kitchen, wondering how he had gotten here but not caring too much. He vaguely realized that Cas tried to make them walk up the stairs to his bedroom but he ended up against the wall again halfway up the staircase with Castiel's well toned body pressed against his own.

The human didn't even care if they made it to their bed, he was too lost in Castiel's gentle ministrations. When the angel lifted Dean's shirt to let his warm hands wander over the man's well toned stomach, the human gave a deep moan and let his head fall back against the wall, his eyes closed, his body all instinct by now. Cas took the opportunity to gently lick and suck Dean's neck, slowly making it to the pulse that raced under his mouth. Carefully the angel grabbed the hem of Dean's shirt and deftly pulled it up over the Righteous Man's head, leaving his upper body exposed to the fresh air and his eager hands.

Fingers were slowly stroking up and down the human's side, making him squirm and whimper with pleasure. "Cas..." The name escaped his wicked red lips from time to time and the angel kissed them again and again whenever the man moaned his name as if he was the only thing he was able to think of. That was actually the case, Dean's mind was empty except for the feeling of Cas' skin on his but it wasn't enough. He wanted more than just fingertips and looked up into lust blown blue eyes that locked with his own unafraid and unashamed. Slowly Dean opened the front of Castiel's shirt and opened it to push the trench coat, suit jacket and shirt all in one from his shoulders. He revealed white skin and let his hands roam over the angel's chest, worshiping him as best as he could before Castiel lost it and pressed their nude chests against each others. God, this felt great, both men moaned from the sensation and Dean shook violently in the angel's arms.

They never made it to the bedroom, Cas took Dean right where they were standing against the wall, the human's legs locked around his wait, his arms clinging to Cas for dear life. Dean was lost and felt at home at the same time. His body trembled when Cas moved against him with urgent thrusts, trying to get as close to his human as possible while he kissed him endlessly, his tongue tasting every inch of Dean's mouth he could reach. In the end they were both screaming and panting heavily, Cas was unable to hold back any longer, he acted on instinct, marking Dean as his possession with every hard thrust into the human's welcoming body.

Seeing and feeling the angel in his climax was the scariest and most wonderful thing Dean had ever experienced. The angel's eyes glowed from the inside out, blue light burning into his own green eyes until he had to close them and when Castiel released himself with a scream inside his body Dean went over the edge as well, a scream torn from his lips as the angel bit mercilessly into his neck, kissing the tortured skin just seconds later when he gathered the exhausted human in his arms to carry him up into the bedroom.

"Don't ever leave me, Cas." Dean pleaded when the raven haired man lowered him onto the mattress, crawling under the sheets with him. He grabbed Dean and pulled him as close to his body as possible and softly pressed his lips against his temple.

"I wish it was that easy." The angel whispered, his voice full of worry and sorrow. When he heard the heavy sadness in Cas' words, Dean turned his head to look at him.

"We shouldn't have done this, right? You're an angel, you aren't allowed to... well... with me, right?" Castiel said nothing but the silence was answer enough for Dean. "Shit..."

"Don't regret it. I don't, Dean." A warm hand glided down over Dean's side leaving a trail of fire where the angel touched him.

"I want you again, Cas." Dean pleaded when he felt himself harden for the angel. The soft touch of loving fingers was too much for him. He didn't just want Cas. He needed him to ease the loneliness and darkness in his heart. Cas lay behind him, pressing Dean's back close to his chest, whispering sweet words of affection into the human's ear, praising his body with his hands. Gentle movements carried Dean away when Cas took him again, slowly, now taking his time to make Dean feel special and welcome. That was what Dean had missed all his life: the warmth of the angel's caring hands.

When the human lay spent in his arms, Cas showered his face with kisses, lulling him to sleep with his calm and deep voice.

XxX

Dean woke up from the light that was shining through the blinds into his bedroom, it was morning already and he had slept like a stone. He was content and happy though his whole body still felt spent and a little bit sore but when he remembered why he felt this way a smile came to his lips and he realized the weight of Cas' arm around his waist, his slender hand resting on the human's stomach. His back was against the angel's warm chest and Dean gave a silent sigh. For the first time in ages he felt really good and for the first time ever he felt wanted and truly at home. In a far corner of his mind he was confused and a little bit concerned that he was so attached to the angel because some day he would have to leave him again to go back to Heaven and the mere thought was threatening to kill the human. While a small part of his mind was wondering why Castiel had fallen asleep, he turned around in the man's arms to face him. His face looked peaceful and relaxed, he was lying so still as if he was dead, his chest and shoulder barely heaving with each breath he took.

Dean's hand reached out to gently caress Cas' face, feeling the slight stubble under his fingertips. It had felt strange to kiss a man when he thought back but what did he care as long as he was happy. He should enjoy every second of this, God only knew how long it would last until the angel had to leave him forever. "I wish you would never leave me…" Dean whispered to which Castiel opened his eyes. The ocean blue depths took Dean's breath away like they had last night, they lay on him with a mixture of possession, lust and love in them. Never had anyone looked at him like THIS and it felt great.

"I know, Dean." Cas whispered and leaned into the human's touch. "But I will have to go back to Heaven someday. My brothers and sisters will not let me stay with you."

"Why?" Dean asked as the other man turned his head to kiss his fingers and the palm of his hand, his warm lips sending electric jolts through his body that set him aflame and calmed him to no end.

"Angels and demons are not allowed to come to earth." Castiel explained. "When I stay with you, Hell can send a demon. It has to be in balance. One demon for every angel. Nothing shall disturb the balance. So if I stay on with you, you will be in constant danger. I cannot risk this." Cas said and before Dean could respond the angel sealed his lips with his own. "You're way too precious and important."

XxX

Castiel could feel Dean tremble at his words and he wanted to pull back his hand but the angel held it in place, his eyes still locked with those green diamonds in front of him. Maybe he had made a mistake, maybe he should just have left when Dean had told him about his feelings last night but he had been so weak, his heart so convinced that it was right to show his human that the feelings were reciprocated. And dear God, it had felt more than right to be with Dean, to hold him, to kiss him, to touch him. His wings had shivered from the sheer force of his feelings, and though Dean hadn't seen them, he was sure that the human had felt it, too. For a second, Castiel was so lost in his own thoughts that Dean found the opportunity to roll them over, straddling his hips with his weight, pressing the angel's hands to the pillow. When Cas looked up, he found green eyes looking into the core of his own very soul, fiercely seeking for answers.

The kiss that followed when Dean leaned in to capture his lips made Castiel want to mark the human again and again, Dean was his, no other human, angel or demon should have him and though he knew that he had to leave someday, he meant it. When Dean had thoroughly ravished his mouth, they looked at each other, panting heard and Cas could see it in Dean's eyes, too, that they were meant for each other. The angel was more than puzzled. Seraphs weren't meant to mate. But here he was, laying beneath his human, completely content for the first time in his long life. The Righteous Man had been the missing piece and now that he found him, he didn't know if he was able to ever leave him.

"I won't let you go, feathers." Dean whispered into his ear, his breath tickling the sensitive shell. He couldn't stop the low moan that escaped his lips, hating that he was devoted to someone so fast. "You're mine and I will keep you in a cage if necessary." Such sweet words. Castiel wished it was true and that Dean would keep the other angels away from him but they would get him once the demon was banished from earth. Without much effort Castiel sat up on the bed and watched as the human fell to the mattress by his side, looking at him with wide eyes. He was so breathtakingly beautiful…

"I will keep you safe as long as necessary, Dean." Cas said with finality in his voice. With a look to the window he noticed that the sun had already risen and it puzzled him. "Have I fallen asleep?" He asked and got up to walk towards the window. He opened the blinds and saw that it was day already, people were walking and driving down the streets, already busy. It took him off guard that he had been out for so long and his mind raced while he still stared out of the window. A hand placed between his shoulder blades made him wince with pain and he turned around again to face Dean.

"Cas…? Is everything okay?" The human asked and looked him up and down concerned, he had seen the reaction when his hand had touched Cas' skin on his back. "You look troubled."

„Angels normally don't need sleep. It may happen but for such long hours…" Castiel said more to himself, still shocked and still lost in his thoughts. "And my wings hurt when you touch them…" He arched his back like he had done the day when he had Dean shown his wings to convince him that he really was an angel and they came into vision. From the look on Dean's face he could tell that something was wrong with them and he pulled his right wing closer to examine it. The soft feathers weren't white anymore, they were losing their light, getting dull and gray at the tip of his wings, getting darker close to his body where they were connected to his shoulders. When he saw this it felt like liquid ice was running through his veins from pure shock. "Heaven branded me."

Castiel stared at his wings, knowing that Dean did the same. "Shit, Cas…" the voice of his human seemed distant and far away. "I shouldn't have told you how I feel, I – I … Fuck!" the last word was screamed loudly and it pulled Castiel from his own thoughts. With one swift movement he had Dean in his arms, crashing the human's body against his own.

"It's not your fault, Dean." He said into the man's hair. "They made me pay not because you told me how you feel. They did it because they know I fell for you."

"Will you lose them?" Dean wanted to know, trying not to sound too curious.

"No. They will get black as night so that everyone who sees them knows that I have committed a sin." It didn't feel like a sin to him to hold Dean close and see the happiness in his eyes. It didn't feel like a sin to show him that he was welcome, loved even. Something in Castiel shifted, he thought about Heaven and their rules, thought about what he was supposed to be and what he WANTED to be. Why had God given his angels the ability to think when it made them unhappy? Doubts rose in his chest but at the moment he knew that the most important thing was to keep the human safe.

TBC

I'm curious… what do you think so far?


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Stolen

Crowley was close to the house of the Righteous Man, watching the scene at the window with a huge smirk on his face. Everything went according to his plan: he had planted the seed to tell the angel about his feelings into Dean's brain, he had disposed of the female body he had used for this and he had watched the Righteous Man all night. He knew that something was going on in that house, he knew what had happened and when he saw the angel's wings this morning, he knew he had been right: the once pure white feathers were slowly turning gray and would soon be black, the sign of an angel who was blemished by Heaven. Crowley threw his head back and laughed when he saw that the celestial creature had fallen for a human. Stupid birds! They thought they were pious and better than everyone when in fact they were just victims of their own dark souls as well.

So his plan was working out well. Now, he would get the human's soul, he would take him away right under the branded angel's dumb eyes! It would even add to his fun to see that ugly fucker's face when he took the man he had fallen for. Crowley knew that an angel's love was eternal and that they mated for life. Taking Castiel's mate would shatter him to the core and then he would slowly wither, unable to get the soul of the Righteous Man back. That bird will sit on a cloud, crying while his precious human's soul was torn apart in the deepest pits of hell. The demon was already looking forward to torture the bright soul until the light grew dull and eventually would vanish completely. He was actually looking forward to torture Dean Winchester like he had never tortured anyone before.

Slowly he walked over to the house. Entering would be no problem at all but he needed to find the right moment to do so. Still Dean and Castiel were standing by the window, the angel holding the human so close that Crowley nearly gagged from all the love in that picture. Yuk! They were so lost in themselves that they didn't notice the demon coming closer…

The right moment was coming, when the Righteous Man walked over to the bathroom and the angel was left behind in the bedroom alone. Poor thing. He looked so happy and content and Crowley would destroy this within seconds. Again he smirked, the dumbfounded look on Castiel's face would be priceless. Silently he went into the house and up the stairs, water was running behind the door closest to the stairs and the door was left ajar so that he could get into the small bathroom unheard. The human was washing himself under the spray of a shower, the curtain drawn, the demon's presence still unknown, he was still happy. Crowley loved that one second when they realized that their luck would shatter like glass on the ground and so he made a shuffling noise with his feet to make Dean aware of his presence, waiting for the man to come from behind the shower curtain.

"If you want to shower with me, just hop in!" Dean said loudly over the sound of the water and Crowley rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"No." He just answered and knew that the human would not recognize his voice and therefore most likely freak out. The demon was proved right, within a split second the human was looking out from behind the curtain, his eyes wide, his mouth agape with shock.

"You…" He whispered and Crowley took a step towards him to grab him around the neck with his arm. He pulled him out of the shower unceremoniously, ignoring the trashing and screaming. He was a demon after all and so much stronger than a human, it wasn't hard to finally pull Dean into a death grip, his arm ready to snap the neck but he would wait and make a show of it in front of the angel. Oh, he was so longing to see that arrogant face fall… "Cas!" Dean croaked, not loud, but loud enough to summon his guardian angel who disappeared in the bathroom, now fully dressed in his suit and trench coat, his tie in a strange angle around his neck.

"Dean!" Castiel said and made a move towards Crowley. Though it all happened fast the demon was enjoying every second of it, he was bathing in the despair of the angel when he noticed that Crowley would kill his beloved if he came one step closer. "Let go of him!" Castiel said loudly, his gravelly voice not leaving a doubt that he would kill the demon with his own very hands if he didn't obey. It was an empty threat. A laugh rose in Crowley's throat.

"You should both see yourselves, now." He was amused to no end. "Say goodbye."

XxX

Green eyes were looking at the angel with heartbreaking trust, Dean believed that he could help him but Crowley had been too fast and too clever and so the angel wasn't able to do anything when he stormed into the bathroom to find Crowley holding his human in an iron grip, his arms about to break his precious lover's neck. Lots of things went to the angel's head: the Righteous Man was about to get killed, his soul would be stolen and gone from this world. But most of all he was afraid of losing Dean, afraid that the demon would take him to Hell to torture him like he had done with so many good souls before. The King of Crossroads was well known amongst angels and demons alike and everyone knew of his cruel methods and how much he enjoyed them. Panic rose within his chest but he kept calm on the outside, ordering the demon to let Dean go. Of course he didn't.

Dean's forest green eyes widened in fear and panic when he felt Crowley tighten his grip around his neck and he looked at Castiel so intense as he had last night when the angel had pressed him up against the wall. He knew that he would die and the finality of that knowledge made both Castiel and Dean tremble. "I love you." Dean whispered with a sad smile.

No. Dear God, he couldn't die right now! Castiel wanted to throw himself at the demon but it was already too late. There was an ugly snap of bones when Crowley broke the spine in Dean's neck and at the same time his human's body went limp, his once sparkling eyes growing dull and glassy. The man didn't even have time for shock to register on his face and so there was still this smile on his lips. It killed Castiel. He felt his heart withering in his chest as the demon took the bright soul and then vanished completely.

He had failed. Castiel had failed Heaven, his brothers and sisters, God, humanity and worst of all Dean because he hadn't been able to save his soul from the demon. Crowley would slowly make the Righteous Man fall, Castiel was sure but he hoped that Dean would resist, that his soul was stronger than that. His heart hammered in his chest and fear and panic became rage and anger. There were ways to get into Hell, even for an angel and if there was a way to find Dean, Castiel would sure do it.

"You failed." A well-known voice behind the angel said and Castiel turned without hesitation to face his brother Michael who knew instantly that something went wrong. The archangel was standing in Dean's small bathroom, the span of his white wings too wide, they touched the walls but they still were impressive. Castiel squared his jaw and returned Michael's gaze unafraid and determined. His mission didn't end here, he would follow Dean everywhere to get him back. Not for Heaven, the angels or humanity but for Dean. And for himself he realized. The last words of his human still rang in Castiel's ears. He loved Dean in return even though it was the worst sin for a seraph to fall for a human. "Show me your wings, Castiel. Michael said and Cas did as he was told. His wings appeared behind him with a slight ruffle, filling the room just like Michael's. They were even darker than a few minutes before, the huge feathers already black, just some downs were still a mixture of white and gray.

"I will go and find Dean. He is not lost, yet." Castiel said and his voice left no room for discussions. Michael eyed the seraph and his nearly black wings carefully, thinking his answer over and over again before he spoke. Then he nodded.

"I will grant three days, Castiel." Michael said and the other angel felt a heavy weight being lifted from his chest. "If you are successful, you will return to Heaven and leave the Righteous Man instantly." He went on with a disgusted glance towards black feathers. "There is no excuse for what you have done." Castiel didn't lower his head as the archangel might have expected, in fact he held it higher than before. He wasn't ashamed for what he had done and he was surely not ashamed for what his heart felt.

"I will find him." Was his answer, his voice sure. Michael arched an eyebrow at him, looking down at the seraph, making sure Castiel understood the gesture well enough.

"Pride as well?" The seraph never broke eye contact, he knew that he was falling fast.

"None of your business." He said and turned to leave. Finding Dean was all he wanted, all he needed, he could deal with everything else later.

"Oh, you will see that it is totally my business, brother."

TBC

Sorry… This chapter is a little bit short, but I hope you like it nevertheless.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

The Path

Dean felt pain. Everything was dark, pitch black and it made him so damn aware of the pain that seemed to be everywhere. He couldn't move or turn away from it, he couldn't run or close his eyes to fall unconscious, he was just in pain. Utter, deep, tormenting pain. There was someone he had lost, someone of great importance, someone who made his heart ache because he was deeply in love but he couldn't remember a face or a name, he just knew that he missed that someone beyond words. The other thing he knew was that everything would stay this way for all eternity, he would feel pain and he would terribly miss someone he didn't even remember. The feeling of being lost grew within him, hopelessness rising. The pain he felt wasn't physical, in fact there was nothing physical about him anymore, his body was kind of missing but just feeling such things was even worse. There wasn't even an arm he could cut with a knife to see if he was still alive… There was something grabbing his form, dragging him through the darkness, deeper into eternal blackness and growing despair rose to drown out every little spark of hope in him.

When he came to his senses – at least to some of them – again after what seemed like an eternity he was in a dimly lit room. The walls themselves were radiating a faint and filthy light, red, dirty yellow and greenish colors made it look old and ugly and it reeked so horribly that Dean gagged instantly. The pain from before was gone but he remembered it well and feared that it might return. What was left in him was nothing but emptiness. He felt hollow and silently sat there and waited for things to happen, not caring if it took an hour or a day. In the end the Righteous Soul wasn't able to tell how long it had taken for the door to open but he remembered the face of the man who entered, walking towards him slowly, threateningly. "My name is Crowley." The demon said. His voice sounded darker than Dean remembered and filled him with fear again. "Remember the name. I will be the one to break you."

With a wave of the demon's hand Dean felt different. When he looked down himself he found that he had a body again, his own body. A part of him was relieved but of course Crowley had something in mind and Dean was afraid of it. "I need you to have a soul and a heart, Dean. So I can break both. You know, when you break, when the goodness in you dies, the demons will be able to rise to earth and conquer Heaven as well…" The human was shocked. He had tried not to think too closely about all these things until now but here he was and the whole truth was coming down upon him this very second. Everyone on earth would suffer just because of him. He needed to stay strong, hold himself together so that he would not break.

"Fuck off, demon." Dean snarled, putting on a mask on his face, trying to appear unafraid. His words only made Crowley laugh hard. When the man had himself under control again he came closer to Dean, so that their faces were nearly touching. His foul breath was smelling like brimstone as well and Dean held his breath so he wouldn't have to vomit all over the demon. Why the hell did he even try to hold it back…?

"Do you remember the angel, Dean? His name is Castiel." Within a split second a lot of images went through Dean's mind and he remembered! Cas was the one he loved, the angel had come to save him from the demon because he was the Righteous Man and important for the balance between good and evil. He had fallen in love for the angel faster than he had even thought was possible and after their first night together Crowley had come to take him from the angel. It had been the first time Dean had told Cas that he loved him and the hurt look in the angel's eyes when he had died was enough to bring tears to the human's eyes. He gasped and nearly doubled over from the force of his memories, especially when he thought of the small touches and whispered words of affection the angel had whispered into his ear that night… "Ah, I assume you remember." Crowley said, his voice like acid. Suddenly Dean missed Castiel more than anything, he wanted him back, he wanted to be in the angels arms, held against his chest securely and bury his face on his shoulder so that his scent would soothe him.

"Bastard." Dean bit out through gritted teeth. He felt small and useless, reduced to nothing but sadness.

"You will feel even worse when I'm done with you." Crowley took Dean's hands within one of his, holding them together without any effort, though the human tried to struggle free from his grip. Of course the demon was stronger and so he pulled Dean over to a wall to put heavy chains around his wrists that cut into his flesh mercilessly. Even more so when Crowley pulled him up into a standing position so that the human's feet barely touched the ground. "The sooner we start, the sooner I will enjoy…"

XxX

Hell was a dark place and it was even darker for an angel who tried to find his way through this wasteland. Castiel's wings hurt more and more with every second because they were singed in more places than he could count, some feathers still glowing like an ember. It didn't matter to him, he just needed to find Dean soon, it was already two days since he had begun with his search and Michael would make hi promise come true and get him back to Heaven after three days. This time Castiel couldn't fail, he would hate if Dean was tortured and killed just because of him and he would die if he lost his human forever. With a shake of his head he tried to ban these thoughts from his mind but even if he found Dean in the blackness of Hell, he had to leave him once they were back on earth. His heart ached more than he knew was possible and only Dean could cure it. Angels lived an eternal life and an eternal life without Dean just wasn't possible. He had to find a way so that they could stay together but first he had to find the Righteous Man in Hell.

The bright light of Dean's soul was like a beacon of light in the dark when he finally saw it but he was still so far away and time was running out. Some feathers of his wings were already burned completely and flying was getting harder for him. Sometimes he had to fight off demons who wanted to kill the angel who invaded hell but he had his angel blade and killed them without hesitation. They were a nuisance and he wasn't willing to lose any time on his way to Dean. The soul glowed in the distance and when he came nearer it got unbearably hot. By now his wings were nearly useless and so he decided to go down and walk the rest of the way so he could cover them. They had to take him and Dean out of the pit, so he covered them neatly and went on slower than before, still guided by the light that was Dean.

A demon and his pack tried to attack Castiel and he got hurt while smiting two of them at the same time, never losing his aim but when they all lay dead at the angel's feet he went on and tried to ignore the wound in his shoulder. It would heal slowly because he wasn't able to recover as quickly as on earth or In Heaven. It took him some precious hours to find Dean. Crowley had him locked up, chained to a wall but still his precious soul was glowing, he wasn't broken yet but he suffered so much… The angel didn't have a plan to free Dean from Crowley he just needed a second when the demon was distracted to attack him. In the shadows of the rundown walls Castiel waited and watched. Crowley was obviously enjoying torturing his lover and it disturbed the angel to see how he suffered. When the demon was in the far corner, the seraph grabbed his angel blade tight in his fist. He was more than angry, rage made his blood boil and he would kill this damn demon as revenge for the pain Dean felt.

Wings were held high behind the angel's back as a demonstration of his power and anger and when he lunged himself at Crowley with all strength he had, he pulled him down to the ground with full force, the ugly creature's head hitting the floor hard. It didn't take long for the demon to bring a grin to his arrogant face and he fought back, a demon knife appearing in his hands.

"You should see your human when I slowly cut his skin. He screams your name when I draw blood." Crowley snarled and his words added to Cas' anger. They struggled on the ground for a few seconds, neither getting enough space to land the final hit, before they both stood up and rounded each other. "He pleads that you come to help him, angel. But you let him suffer. It seems like ages to him, time doesn't really work down here for human souls." Castiel made a move, swinging his knife over his head to stab the demon but Crowley made a step away in the last second. "I can see his dreams when he sleeps. He dreams of you and the things you have done to him. I never knew you would be that naughty…" For a second the angel was taken off guard by those words and he hated himself that he went into Crowley's verbal trap like a dump hare. The demon's knife missed him by inches, making a hissing sound where it cut through the air next to his ear.

"Shut your mouth, demon!" Castiel screamed, trying to intimidate the other man without success. They were both fighters for way too long to let themselves get killed too easily. The fight went on and it seemed that neither of them was stronger or made a mistake but then Castiel gathered all his rage and hate, swung his blade and stabbed it into the demon's shoulder with full force. Black smoke came rising from the wound and he grabbed his own knife, not able to hold it any longer. Castiel used the opportunity to grab the demon's face with his hand, smiting him, burning his insides with his powers. Within seconds the King of Crossroads was lying by his feet, his eyes burnt out of his head, his body lifeless, unmoving. He really had made it! Panting heavily Castiel turned around to walk towards Dean who was still chained with his hands over his head, the shackles cutting deeply into his wrists.

"Dean." Castiel whispered but his human didn't open his eyes to look at him and so he just gathered his limp body in his arms and gently lifted him to melt the chains and shackled around his arms. It took some time because Cas was trying to be gently, he didn't want to hurt the man even more and finally he had him freed to press him close to his body, cradling him against his chest so that Dean would feel that he wasn't alone any more. "I got you, Dean. We will leave this place, now. You will be safe." He whispered and kissed Dean's forehead with trembling lips before he spread his wings and took off to get his lover back to earth and put his soul back into his body.

TBC

Another chapter done, phew – wipes sweat from her forehead –

Hope you like it!


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

The Last Goodbye

Dean felt his body lifted from the cold ground gently. His lungs drew air as if it was for the first time and his eyes fluttered open from the force behind his first breath. Castiel. The angel was carrying him from his bathroom over to his bed and lowered him onto the mattress, making Dean smile weakly. "Hey there, beautiful." He whispered and Cas' blue eyes turned towards his. Fuck, he had missed the man with every fiber of his being while Crowley had cut and hurt him in Hell. He couldn't say how long it had been but it seemed like months or years even and he felt a shiver rose within him when he thought back. Castiel saw this and covered his body with a blanket before he sat down next to Dean on the Mattress, his hands wandering through Dean's face restlessly, caressing his slight stubble, his nose, his lips., everything. The human sighed with content, happy to be back with the one he loved.

"Dean." He whispered forlorn and smiled as well, his beautiful mouth stretching widely. "Everything will be fine. I put your soul back into your body. Crowley didn't break you and he won't come for you ever again."

"Did you kill him, Cas?" Dean asked and gasped when the angel just nodded. "You shouldn't have done it. Don't sin because of me again, okay?"

"It is not a sin to kill an evil soul. Don't think about it. The only thing of importance is that you are back here and safe." Castiel leaned down to gently cup Dean's face and place his lips on his lover's for a soft kiss. It was innocent but it felt great to Dean, he felt loved unconditionally for the first time in his life. Another thought occurred to him.

"Will you stay with me?" From the look on Castiel's face he could already tell the answer. His heart hammered wildly in his chest and he sat up and threw the blanket back. Losing Cas wasn't acceptable. Damn, he NEEDED him! "No. No, you can't just leave me here on my own! I love you, Cas. You can't just go!" His voice was panic-laden, his eyes wide and it hurt to see the human this way. Castiel cupped his cheek and kissed him again. And again. And again.

"You know I don't want to leave." Cas muttered breathless, pressing another kiss to Dean's soft lips. "The angel will take me back to Heaven and they won't let me get back to earth again. While I'm here Hell could send another demon effortlessly to regain balance. It is dangerous and I won't risk this." Dean knew that Castiel meant well but he also knew that Cas wanted to stay. It tore his heart apart to know that he would leave him for good.

"How long do we have?" Dean wanted to know. No matter how long it was, he couldn't prepare himself for the moment, the seraph would have to go.

"Just a few minutes, Dean. They will come to get me soon." No! This couldn't be true. The time in Hell was nothing compared to the time he would have to live through without his angel. He wasn't sure if he could do it, if he could make it to the end without him. This time Castiel read him like an open book.

"Don't kill yourself." The raven haired man whispered urgently. "Your soul will go to Hell if you commit suicide and there will be no way to get you back then." Tears rose in Dean's eyes when he realized that there wasn't a way for them to be together soon. He wouldn't cry, he wouldn't give up, no fucking way. Cas was his and he wanted him by his side forever. Determination replaced the shock on Dean's face and he got up to pull on his jeans and a shirt. "We will get out of here. We take the car and drive… They won't get you, they won't find you." With a weak smile Castiel got up from the bed and walked over to the waiter, grabbed his shoulders gently and pulled him into a hug.

"They are angels, Dean. They will find me no matter where I am." He whispered.

"No! Damn fucking no! They can't do it."

"They can and they will, Love." Sadness was laced into Castiel's voice as well as finality. Blue eyes went wide when suddenly he felt something pull at him and a bright light took hold of him. He felt his body slowly drawn back towards Heaven. At least they had mercy so he could say goodbye to Dean before he left forever. The human saw that parts of the angel seemed to vanish into thin air and he grabbed the back of his head, pressing their forehead together.

"I love you, Castiel. Don't you ever forget that." He whispered, his eyes closed to keep the tears at bay. His angel grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him closer, mumbling against the older Winchester's lips.

"How could I? I will always love you." The last kiss was gentle, soft, they pressed their lips together, enjoying this short moment as long as possible but it wasn't long enough and after some seconds, the bright light had engulfed Castiel completely and he was just gone. Dena limply fell to his knees where he stood. His heart was aching terribly within his chest and his pain was making him sob uncontrollably.

"Cas…" He whispered but the angel was already gone.

XxX

In Heaven Castiel wasn't able to hide his wings. The black and burnt feathers were visible for everyone of his brothers and sisters. He had sinned and he had been to hell and now he was branded for both. As there was nothing to regret for the seraph, he still held his head and wings high, he never even thought that it had been wrong to love Dean, he still did in fact and the longer they were apart the more he missed his human. Michael banished him from his duty on the garrison, he no longer lead other angels into battle and wasn't sure if he would ever be allowed to do it again. So Castiel just roamed the Heavens, an outcast wherever he went and most angels avoided him. Soon he was known as the outcast but what did he care. His heart wasn't with Heaven any longer, it was on earth just like his every thought and he longed to see Dean again. He was very well aware that it was useless to try to get out of Heaven and down to earth, they would notice too soon and bring him back. He had tried, of course, but without success, he never got far.

Most of the time Castiel spent his time in the Heavens of humans, admiring their happy places, wondering what Dean's happy place would look like. Maybe Castiel would find out but time went by so slowly without the Righteous Man. The angel had never been so aware of his heart, because now it ached with every breath he took and no matter what he saw or where he went, the pain never decreased. On the contrary, it got harder to breathe with every day that went by.

The only angel who sought out Castial from time to time was his brother Gabriel, though he didn't know why. The small, blonde archangel didn't seem to care that Castiel's wings were as black as coal and his reputation destroyed, he spoke to him like he had always done and he kind of seemed to understand how Castiel felt, making the younger angel wonder if Gabriel had ever fallen for a human as well. He would never ask him, though, it was out of question but it was nice to talk to someone from time to time, especially to someone who didn't judge him like all the other angels.

Today Castiel was visiting the Heaven of a guy who had suffered from autism back on earth and his Heaven was truly beautiful, the seraph came back here often to watch the man play between wonderful flowers, so colorful that it made the angel's worn heart feel a little better. This place was truly peaceful and though it was simple, it was stunning at the same time. This Heaven made Castiel feel comfortable and so he just stood under a large tree and breathed in the fresh air. He was lost in his thoughts that were always with Dean, he couldn't bring himself to think of something else, his mind was trapped and though it scared him a little bit, he didn't really care and gave himself over to contemplation and sadness.

"Hey, pretty raven." A cocky voice said from behind him and Castiel turned around to face Gabriel. His older brother had come to visit him again and it made Castiel wonder why the archangel even cared. No other angel did… The blonde came slowly walking towards him, looking around, getting into the feeling of the garden and the smile on his face got even wider. "I was wondering if you want some company. Always being by yourself cannot make you happy, you know?" The man stopped in front of Castiel, leaning against a tree casually, crossing his arms, watching the gardens.

"The one who makes me happy is on earth." Castiel replied matter-of-fact-like and made Gabriel roll his eyes but there was something unreadable on his face and Castiel eyed him closer. "Why are you here?" He asked suspiciously but Gabriel just held up his hands.

"I cannot stand to see you so sad, brother. I would love to see a smile on your face again or at least that fierce determination that others had made walk into battle without hesitation. You were the ones to give the soldiers of your garrison strength but now you're like an abandoned heap of shredded pieces on the ground. Is that human really that important for you? Heaven needs fighters, Castiel. You once have been one of the fiercest…."

"I won't fight any longer. Michael took over my garrison and I had to leave. I'm useless and I ache." Gabriel continued to stare into ocean blue eyes, not saying a word. He could see the pain in his brother's eyes and it killed him to see Castiel that way. Somehow he had always been fond of his little brother and he cared because he understood. He hoped to see a smile on the seraph's face again but there was only one way to get it back, Castiel had made it clear more than once. Without another word Gabriel vanished and left Castiel alone once again. The angel didn't care, he went back to stare ahead, thinking of Dean's gentle hands on his body and his green eyes looking at him lovingly.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Brothers

Four weeks. Four weeks without Castiel and Dean still couldn't think of nothing else but the angel, his messy black hair, his intense blue eyes, his gentle hands, his white skin, the slight stubble around his mouth, his slightly chapped but oh-so-soft lips, his gravelly voice that sounded sexy, no matter what he said and the way it got even lower when he whispered lovingly into Dean's ear. The human would never hear this voice again, he would never see those beautiful features again and it killed him slowly. Never had Dean thought that his heart could hurt so much but it did, it did and made him want to rip it out of his chest so he would never feel again. Surely he wouldn't fall in love again. He had tried to date some women and even though they were beautiful, they didn't have those baby blue eyes and jet black hair, he felt nothing while talking to them and while they spoke his mind wandered off to think of the angel again and again. So he gave up. He didn't even consider to just sleep with them, he wouldn't betray Cas this way, it just felt wrong, even if they would never meet again.

After the first week Dean quit his job at the diner, they would fire him sooner or later anyways and at the moment he couldn't deal with the customers, he wasn't able to put that fake smile onto his lips to make them feel welcome. Jo hadn't said a word about it, but she had seen him during this week and was getting worried. She wasn't sure what had happened while she had been out but it had been bad for Dean… The man spent the next few days at home in his bed, sometimes burying his nose in the pillow that still smelled like Cas, making him ache even more. Missy was always by his side, purring, curling up on his chest or in his lap, trying to soothe her human but it didn't do the trick, though Dean was glad that she was with him and cuddled her whenever she let him. Maybe she missed the angel, too, but Dean never knew.

The second week after Castiel left, Dean dragged his ass out of bed to walk over to Bobby's. He told his uncle that he had quit as a waiter and therefore had more time to work on some cars. The older man had told him that he would take into consideration to make Dean a regular employee by the beginning of next month and it sounded great to Dean. A fake smile wasn't necessary while working with cars and they didn't ask questions either.

The third and fourth week Dean had spent partly in his bed, on his ouch or at Bobby's, working part time for his uncle. When he wasn't going to work the next morning, Dean would drink until he was numb and tired, falling asleep on the sofa, with Missy mewing disapprovingly by his side. Dean didn't care about anything anymore, he was done pretending, he was done being nice, he didn't care what happened any longer.

At the end of the fourth week Sammy called him. Dean ignored him several times before he answered his phone with a roll of his eyes. "Sammy, if I don't answer the phone I got reasons, okay? No need to try again and again…" He barked into the phone once he had it picked up and could actually hear Sam wince at the other end of the line. His brother recovered quickly.

"Dean, Jo called me last night. She said you quit your job at the diner and…."

"…and now you complain that I won't send you money any longer?" Dean knew his words would hurt Sam but he hurt, too, and nothing could soothe it, so why should he give a damn? There was silence for a few seconds.

"I will drive over tomorrow. It is Friday and my papers can wait." Sam said. Dean didn't want company right now, he wanted to be on his own, he didn't want anybody to see him like this, heartbroken like a girl.

"No, please don't." He said but Sam wouldn't have it.

"Get some of your burgers ready, I will be there around noon." He said and hung up before Dean could argue further. With a curse he crashed the phone down onto the table and went to the kitchen to get a bottle of Whiskey. Dean didn't even bother to pour it into a glass, the bottle worked well for him. Maybe he could get drunk enough to fall asleep soon, so he would be rested when Sam arrived tomorrow. Damn! He was really not looking forward to this and he wished that Cas was here. He didn't even get the chance to introduce Sammy to the angel. He was sure his brother would approve of the relationship but as there wasn't any relationship, Dean didn't want to talk about it neither.

Fuck, he missed Castiel. He needed to talk to him and when half of the bottle was gone, warming his insides, Dean found himself praying to the man he loved. "Cas." He whispered into the darkness of his living room.

"I miss you so much, love. I – I never knew I could fall for another man so easily and so deeply. It scares me because I can't go on without you. Everything hurts, nothing makes sense since you left me. Strange how you turned my world upside down within such a short time. I want you so much, right now… And I want to hear your voice again, I want to hear you whisper my name, Cas. I so wish you came back to me. I don't know what to do. I – I tried to date girls but they're nothing compared to you. Please, Cas…" His voice broke and finally Dean fell apart, crying for the first time since the angel had left him to be alone. It helped, if only a little bit, but while he felt the tears run down over his face, Dean couldn't believe that he was so attached to another being like he was to Cas. He had never needed someone, he had always been enough, but now… The pain numbed him and within another few minutes, the older Winchester brother fell asleep on his sofa with his black cat softly purring on his chest.

XxX

A low voice was whispering to him, a prayer, so sweet that Castiel closed his eyes with a sigh. Dean's words made his knees weak. He enjoyed hearing him again, so Dean was thinking of him, too, but he also felt helpless because he couldn't go down to earth and envelop Dean in his arms to soothe him. Even though he was glad to know that Dean still wanted him, it hurt to know that he was so sad. Castiel wished for Dean to be happy but he was trapped in Heaven. Anger rose within him but determination as well. He needed to get back down to earth to help Dean out of his misery and…

"The Righteous Man falls." Gabriel's voice said behind Castiel and the archangel sounded really, REALLY concerned about this fact. Castiel spun around to face him, his blue eyes wide with shock and disbelief. That couldn't be, he had rescued Dean from Hell before it had been too late, his soul had been pure when he had left him, so what did Gabriel's words mean? Without being aware of it, the seraph shook his head no, staring into his brother's brown eyes. "Yes, yes, he does." Gabriel said, walking around Castiel, eying every part of him, contemplating something while he circled him.

"Why? Crowley didn't break him. His soul was still bright and clear when I left him." Castiel said and searched Gabriel's face for answers. For some time neither of the angels spoke a word but then Gabriel's eyes grew larger.

"I should have known…" He said, more to himself than to Castiel. "You left him."

"No. Heaven ripped me out of his arms." The seraph answered, his eyes narrowed with anger. He would never have left Dean alone, Dean was his! Gabriel nodded, silently shaking his head, then nodded again.

"The human hurts like you do, Castiel. His soul withers just like his heart."

"No… you have to save him! He cannot be lost." Castiel's voice was louder, panic rising within his chest. He didn't care for the consequences for humanity, Heaven and Hell, he hated that Dean was so unhappy, seeing him die would kill Castiel. More than ever he wanted to go back down to earth and hold Dean, whisper into his ear that everything would be alright in the end but the angels wouldn't let him.

"There's nothing we can do."

XxX

Sam Winchester had never seen his brother as worn and tired as he was now: dark rings around his eyes, his clothes wrinkled, his hair a mess, the stubble on his chin more than usual. When the younger Winchester brother entered the house he instantly smelled the alcohol in the air and Dean smelled like a liquor store, too. Something had really smashed his normally so content and caring brother to the ground. Without a word they went through to the kitchen where Dean offered a beer to Sam that he took gladly. He noticed that Dean's hands were shaking slightly, something was really off and he had yet to find out what it was. Knowing his brother, this wouldn't be a walk in the park either. Dean had often been gloomy but normally it took him half a day to get back to his usual sunny self. It wouldn't be so easy, now, Sam guessed.

"So what happened, Dean?" Sam asked as he sat down at the table across from his brother. Tired eyes turned towards him and it dawned on Sam that whatever had happened to his brother, he had given up already.

"Nothing, Sammy. I just had some bad days. I will be okay again." Dean answered, his voice smaller than Sam would have expected.

"Bullshit, Dean." His voice was louder than he had intended but it made him angry that Dean lied him straight into the face. "What happened? Did you get fired at the diner?"

"No, I quitted the job." Dean's voice was tight, he hated to be interrogated this way. He wanted to be alone now, he wanted to be in Cas' arms, he wanted to be happy again, he wanted the numbness to go away but his heart was heavy as a stone in his chest and made it hard to breathe and care for him. Silence hung in the air for a few minutes while Sam watched him carefully, trying to find out what was wrong.

"Is it a woman? Die she leave you?" It was a guess but Sam could see that he had hit a spot because Dean winced visibly. So this was about a broken heart and he leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. Dean knew that he was trapped and Sam knew that he hated it. "So you're upset and quit your job just because a girl left you?"

"Sam…" Dean whispered weakly, he really wasn't in any condition to talk about this.

"What did she do to you?" He wouldn't let the topic drop. "Whatever she did it really destroyed you." Dean shook his head, trying to get the memory of their last kiss out of his head. Sam knew that he was about to spill it all out, they knew each other too well. "Talk to me, Dean. You're a mess. You cannot just sit here and be all gloomy."

"I won't sit here all day. I will begin to work at Bobby's garage next week. He hired me as a regular employee. I will send you some money then."

"Damnit, Dean, this isn't about money! Do you think that is all I care about?" Sam exploded to which Dean shook his head, averting his eyes from his brother's. "Now tell me what happened or I swear to God I will kick your ass right to hell."

"Been there. Doesn't impress me that much." Dean answered without thinking but Sam didn't take this serious, it just made him wonder what made Dean that lifeless.

"Stop being a jerk and talk to me. I'm your brother, you're supposed to trust me." Dean looked up and if Sam didn't know better he would swear there were tears glancing in those forest green eyes. Maybe there were and it made him realize that things got really out of hand here.

"Not a woman." Dean breathed out, his voice barely a whisper. "I – I fell in love with a man…"

"What happened? Did he turn you down?" Dean shook his head while Sam was still a bit surprised that Dean was so openly talking about this. The younger brother was sure that the older wasn't gay but love didn't care, did it? So his heart was broken and it had something to do with a man Sam didn't know. Or maybe he did. "Who is he?"

"Castiel. His name is Castiel." Dean said and with that something in him gave in and he spilled it all out. "We barely knew each other but Jo urged me to tell him how I feel and so I did. My feelings were returned and I was so happy, so content as never before. I really love him, I really want to be with him but it is just my luck that he had to leave. He won't come back, Sammy, he left me for good, though I know that he loves me as well but there is no way for us to be together." His voice broke on the last word and he shut up before he would cry in front of his baby brother.

"Where did he go? I don't understand, if he means so much to you, just follow him. You have nothing to lose, Dean, and I'm not the only one who wants to see you happy." Dean gave him a sad smile.

"Believe me, I would do it if it was that easy."

"What's holding you back? If you really love him, moving to a faraway country might be worth a try." Sam winked but his words didn't do anything to his brother except hurting him even further.

"I can't."

"Is he married and has a family?"

"No." Dean got up from the table getting impatient. He wanted this to be over so he could curl up in his bed with his cat again and bury his nose in Castiel's smell once again. Sometimes it made him dream of his angel and it felt great to be held by him again, making him feel even worse when he woke up again only to realize that he was alone like before.

"I don't get it." Sam narrowed his eyes, a new thought rising. "It is not because you deny that you're in love with a man, right?" Dean was far beyond caring whom he loved. What did it matter if he couldn't have him.

"That's not the point. You wouldn't believe me if I told you everything anyway." Dean sighed and took a huge gulp of his beer. "So just forget it. I will get over it eventually." Sam wasn't so sure of this, whoever Castiel was, Dean had hopelessly fallen for him and it didn't take an expert to see how hard this was for Dean.

"I told you to trust me. Try to tell me the whole story." Normally his soft and patient voice would do the trick for Dean but today he only shot Sam a disbelieving glance. "What's wrong with you, Dean? This isn't you." He threw his arms up helplessly but his brother retreated even more at that and stood up to walk out of the kitchen. The tired man slumped onto the sofa and buried his head in his hands. Now that he had talked about Cas it all got even more real. He would never see him again. Sam followed him patiently sitting down next to the sad man. "You know that I just want to help you, right?" Red rimmed eyes looked up at him. There was madness and sorrow behind them, so deep that it nearly knocked the breath from Sam's lungs.

"You want to hear the whole fuckin' story though I know you won't believe me?" Dean asked to which Sam just nodded, now a bit unsure. "There's things going on, Sammy. Heaven and Hell fight and Castiel is an angel who came down to save me from a demon. When the demon got me, Cas dragged me out of Hell but he had to leave once we were back here." The older brother laughed when he saw the strange look on Sam's face. "See? You don't believe me. You think I'm a nut case, now." The laughing grew harder and Dean was very well aware that he sounded mad but he didn't care.

Slowly Sam came over to the man on the sofa, sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug without words, feeling his brother cling to him as if he was an anchor to reality. Thoughts were running through the younger Winchester's head, he was trying to think straight but he was shaking just like Dean because he realized his brother needed help. And he wasn't a great help when it came to mental illnesses so he would have to call a doctor and make Dean go to him. That would be the hardest part but obviously he didn't have many choices left. None to be precise. He held Dean for a long while, his brother shaking in his arms. Sam was sure that Dean hadn't talked to anyone about what had happened and nobody had seen that he slowly lost his mind. With a sigh he grabbed his brother's shoulders and made him look up into soft brown eyes. "We will get this sorted out, Dean." He said gently but the man shook his head.

"You think I'm nuts. Don't bother, Sammy… It will get better someday." He wasn't sure when. Maybe when he finally died… How could it be that love was killing him so slowly. Normally he would shake it off and go on like before, making jokes about it after a week or two, trying to be positive about everything that happened. Sam was right: that wasn't him and he started to ask himself what Cas had done to him to make him addicted like this. Perhaps the angel was the one he had heard others – mostly women – talk about. Dean had never truly believed in such things. Love at first sight or 'the one' was for sappy movies, not for real life. But here he was, shattered on the ground, unable to go on.

"Well, I think you might need help, Dean. Don't worry, I'll be here for you."

XxX

"Are you sure?"

"Well, there might be a chance that he is what we call a 'backup program'. If they are together nothing will happen. If they stay apart things will soon get out of hand."

"There is no way for them to be together. Seraphs are not allowed to fall in love. We cannot break the rules and you know that."

A deep sigh and the decision to act on his own.

XxX

Dean had fallen asleep halfway through the movie Sam had chosen to watch and he was breathing silently while his brother was sipping away his beer, glad that Dean was finally getting some rest, looking peaceful in his slumber. He was still thinking about how he could get him to visit a doctor and talk to him about the things he had told Sam. It would be hard but it had to be done, no matter what. Sam wasn't even sure what part of the story Dean had told him were true. He was sure his brother had fallen in love. Most likely with a man, why should he lie on this. But this man definitely had NOT gone back to Heaven. What a strange way to deal with his departure… It was strange to see his brother so lost, Dean had always been the strong one after their parents had died, he had always cared for Sammy but obviously now was the Sammy that Sam had to care for Dean. He watched him sleeping for a few minutes. Furrowed brows and some small movements on his face spoke of a vivid dream. "No… Cas…" Of course he was dreaming of the one he loved. Sam sighed. That was definitely harder on him than the things he had been through until now.

His attention went back to the movie, it was nearly finished and Sam would go to bed gladly. He was tired as well and wanted sleep more than anything else though he knew that his thoughts would keep him up the whole night. After another few minutes he nearly dozed off on the sofa, his eyes falling closed without his will. When he heard a soft rustle behind him, he didn't really realize it at first, only when Dean sat up and uttered the name again "Cas?"

XxX

The older Winchester had fallen asleep on the sofa again, this time with his brother next to him. His dreams were always the same: Castiel. Tonight he dreamed about their last seconds together, how his angel had vanished while they had kissed, how desperate he had shown Dean that he loved him beyond words and Dean gladly believed it, knew it was true. Still those soft pink lips were hot against his own, he was feeling every curve of them as they moved together before Cas was torn from his arms. "No… Cas…" He knew he was talking in his sleep because he felt Sam move next to him. Being a wreck in front of his brother really bothered him but he was unable to do anything against it, he felt so lost and lifeless.

In his dream Cas was gone. But in the real world he heard this unmistakable rustle of wings, this small flutter that had always told him that Castiel was near and his eyes shot open. "Cas?" he asked into the silence of the room and sat up to look around. His heart hammered wildly in his chest, his breath coming out in ragged gasps. Was Castiel here?

"Good evening." A mocking voice said behind the sofa and both Dean and Sam turned around with shock to look at the short man with honey blonde hair who was standing there, looking at them with a smirk. "So you are Dean Winchester, the Righteous Man." The stranger said and walked over to where the two brothers were sitting, staring silently. "You humans are so dumb sometimes. Why don't you speak to me? It would only be polite. Staring open mouthed is not." The mock pount on his face vanished when he saw the bowl of popcorn that stood on the table and he grabbed it with a happy smile to shove handfuls of it into his mouth.

Dean was the first to recover from his shock and he stood up. The man was smaller than himself but that didn't mean a thing. He had come into the house uninvited and without breaking a door or a window, just appearing behind the sofa, so he was possibly a threat. "Who are you?" The older brother asked suspiciously, bringing the table between himself and the man, Sam following his example. "Are you a demon?" Now Sam was looking at Dean concerned. Of course! Dean hadn't believed a word Castiel had said, before he had seen the man's wings and what he could do. The creature in front of the brothers only laughed hard, still eating popcorn, not stopping for a second.

"A demon? Dean, I thought you would know the difference by now." The small man arched his back and showed off impressive wings, larger than the fluffy appendages Cas had shown off to Dean and the human saw that there were four of them held up into the air, spread as wide as his living room allowed. Next to him Sam gasped and stumbled a step back, staring at the honey colored feathers that matched the angel's hair.

"Why are you here?" his first thought was that something might have happened to Cas but from the way the angel was joking around it might not be as serious. Also he seriously doubted that the angels would keep him updated on Castiel's health. While Dean was speaking the angel walked closer to Sam, ignoring the older brother's question.

"You didn't believe what you brother told you?" He asked, pulling his wings closer so he would not hit something with them. "Like what you see?" The feathers were ruffling slightly when the angel shock them, showing off for Sammy, making Dean gape. Was this angel flirting with his brother?

"Cut it off and tell me what you want." Dean interrupted angrily, not in the mood for jokes or cocky angels. The man sighed and turned away from Sam to face Dean.

"My name is Gabriel, maybe you have already heard of me?"

"Not that I remember." Dean lied. He knew the Bible, he had heard the story of Gabriel announcing that Mary would give birth to Jesus but he just didn't have the nerve to feed the ego of this creature. It seemed big enough already.

"Liar." Gabriel laughed and threw his head back. Out of the corner of his eyes Dean could see that Sammy was still mesmerized by the angel's wings. "Whatever. I'm here to talk to you, Dean. You are the one who fell in love with my brother? You made Castiel fall?" He made a tsk-ing noise. "I thought he had some better taste but I guess love is blind." His words didn't do anything to Dean, he tried to stare the angel down but he was just as unimpressed as himself.

"So?" Dean wanted to know.

"Your soul is withering, Dean and we cannot risk to lose the Righteous Man. Losing you would mean to lose the eternal battle, darkness will fall and the demons will rule on earth, burning everything to the ground, killing for their enjoyment. Your falling from grace will bring the apocalypse, are you even aware of that?" Gabriel asked, urgency in his voice.

"I don't give a damn. You have taken Cas back, so deal with my grumpy mood." Dean replied with a dismissive wave of his hand but Gabriel obviously didn't like this answer because his face became angry and he put the bowl with the popcorn aside to step closer to Dean.

"Is this a joke to you?"

"Do I look as if I'm joking? Give him back to me if you want me to feel better to save the world. I don't mind dying, I don't care what happens to this planet and this is all your fault. My soul died when you took him from me." The words were spat into Gabriel's face and Sam was watching the scene with increasing worry.

"Dean…" He stepped forwards towards his brother but Gabriel held up a hand against the tall man's chest to hold him back. The gesture didn't went by without a smirk towards Sammy as Gabriel touched him.

"I just want to know, Dean Winchester, do you really love Castiel?" There was an urgency in his voice that spoke of a brother who really cared, Dean would be the same where Sam was concerned. He gave up and hung his head, his cool mask flying out of the window when he thought about the pain Cas' absence caused within him. He knew that Gabriel was right: his soul was slowly dying because he truly didn't care any longer. Not for himself and not for others because he couldn't have his love by his side.

"Yes." He whispered. "Yes, I really love him." Gabriel broke into a true smile that brightened his whole face.

"So not all is lost." He said and with that he was gone.

Dean wanted to call for him to come back but it would be useless, the human was sure. He turned towards his brother and despite his still sad mood he broke into laughter.

"So it was true. Castiel is an angel…"

TBC

What do you think? Please tell me!


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Decision

Sadness was eating him up, every day a little more. He missed Dean so much that it hurt and there was nothing he could do to distract himself from the pain. Slowly, Castiel realized that this was his punishment: live through the pain and suffer. Disobedience would not be forgiven and he would live as an outcast for the rest of his angelic life if he didn't find a way out of Heaven to be with the one he loved so much. Today he had chosen to enter the dream of a girl who had been killed before her fifteenth birthday. Though her death had been tragic and sad, she was still happy and had created herself a heaven that Castiel liked to visit as well. His naked feet were standing on fine, golden sand and the sun was shining brightly, illuminating the waves that rolled ashore, making them glitter like liquid diamonds. The girl was surfing on the huge waves, laughing when she fell into the water, getting up every time, grabbing the board to try again and again. Sometimes she would sit near the palm trees that weren't far away to stare out over the ocean while enjoying the screams of the seagulls.

It was peaceful, yet so disturbing that a young human like her had the ability to be happy with such simple things. She had been wiser than other girls her age and Castiel admired that in her. He watched her blond hair glow in the sun as another wave caught her surfboard and made her fall, laughter ringing in his ears, reminding him that sadness wasn't the only feeling in this world. Maybe someday he would be able to visit Dean's Heaven, too, and if he had any luck, he would not be invisible to Dean like he was to most of the other humans in their Heavens. Otherwise he could just be there and watch his love, hoping that his Heaven would be a nice place that would warm Dean's dead soul. A lot of time would pass until he saw him again and the thought made him sad again.

"Hello, my raven brother." Gabriel's voice greeted him and Castiel turned around with a fond smile on his face. He was glad that at least one of his brothers didn't just regard him as a traitor but as an angel, still. The archangel was beaming at him, his wings fluttering as if he was excited. It was highly unusual, Castiel had never seen him this way before.

"Are you up to something?" Castiel asked suspiciously, watching as Gabriel walked around the shore, his feet in the water, enjoying the cool touch of the waves.

"Yes, Castiel, I am. And You will be involved. If you want to, that is." The seraph stepped closer to the other man, not knowing what he was talking about.

"Will I get back to duty?" He asked, his voice full of hope. If he had something to do it would distract him from all the pain in his chest. Gabriel shook his head no, honey colored hair flying around his head.

"Well, we could arrange that if you want to but what I will offer you is better than that." Now, Castiel's heart began to hammer in his chest, maybe Gabriel had found a way out of Heaven for him or made the other angels understand. Maybe he would see Dean again, soon.

"Talk, brother, I am curious." Castiel urged, making the other smile warmly.

"For every Righteous Soul there is another soul that can heal the righteous one when it hurts. It is like a backup if something happens to make the Righteous Man stumble and fall, so that we have a chance to put everything back in order and the balance will not be disturbed. I found the one soul who can cure Dean, who can make him live happy again so that he will still be the Righteous Man until the day he dies and another one is chosen." Castiel took a deep breath. He would love to know Dean was happy again but the thought that another one was with him made him see red. No other man or woman should touch him or kiss him, no other being should be allowed to hold him like Castiel had done. With another heavy sigh he cleared his mind. He wasn't there to love Dean, he wasn't there to cure his soul and if another person meant happiness for the Righteous Man he had to accept this. And Dean's happiness was all that mattered, at least that was what he told himself even though every fiber of his being was screaming at him that Dean was his!

"If this means that Dean is happy, help him find this soul." The seraph bit out through gritted teeth, something within him breaking when he spoke those words. Giving Dean over to some other person wasn't easy for him but he loved him, so why did it hurt him so much? Gabriel's smile went wider and he stepped closer to Castiel, making him look up into brown eyes that held mischief but also warmth and love for his fallen brother.

"I speak of you, Castiel. You are the only one who can hold the Righteous Man together, if he has you, nothing will happen and the balance will not be disturbed." The archangel watched a tear fall from those blue eyes without Castiel even noticing it.

"Does it mean that I can – I can be with him?" His voice broke somewhere during the question, getting rougher than usual. Gabriel held up a finger into his face.

"There is a price to pay, dear raven."

"Everything."

"I have been to earth to meet Dean. He truly loves you, though I cannot see what you see in him. His soul is pure but getting darker with every second that passes because he misses you. If you think that he is worth the price you will have to pay I can arrange to get you back down to him" The words made Castiel shiver, he wanted to get to his human and hold him and being so close to being granted the opportunity made him more than exited.

"Tell me what you want. I will pay." Castiel said and Gabriel's gaze turned softer.

"You two are truly meant for each other…" He said. "I talked to Michael and Uriel about it all. You cannot go back to earth because Hell could send a demon if we send an angel. We would be where we were before. If you become human, it wouldn't matter and the Righteous Man wouldn't be in constant danger. I can take your grace and you will be a human without it. Your wings will be gone and you cannot come to Heaven ever again." Gabriel offered, curious if Castiel would accept the offer.

"Take my grace. I don't care, I just want Dean."

Are you sure about it? Your life as you know it…" Gabriel made a move with his hand that included all of Heaven and the angels – Castiel's brothers and sisters, his family.

"I just want to be with him. Take my grace and send me back to him. Please Gabriel, do it." Castiel had never been so sure of any other decision in his life. What did he care about his wings or his powers or Heaven or the angels if he was the one who could safe Dean from becoming all bitter, from falling. "What do I have to do?"

"Nothing. Just stand still so I can take your grace." Gabriel said. Castiel could hear that sadness was laced into his brothers voice and for a second he got sad as well. Gabriel had been nice to him, they had been close since Castiel had been created but his heart wanted Dean and he couldn't deny it. Knowing that the archangel would never have offered this to him if he wasn't sure about this as well, he nodded and let Gabriel place a hand above his heart. "I will miss you, Castiel." He said smiling. "I hope you will be happy with Dean. Goodbye, brother."

"Thank you, Gabriel." Castiel whispered and watched as blue light drifted out of his body into Gabriel's hand. They looked at each other for a while, until Castiel felt his powers getting weaker and his wings withered and vanished completely. It didn't hurt and he was glad that the obvious mark of his shame was gone. When the last feather fell to the ground and was washed away by the waves, the former seraph felt his vision go blank and he fell.

TBC

Thanks for reading so far!


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Hunger

The soft purring of Missy was making Dean sleepy. He had problems falling asleep after the strange angel Gabriel had visited and he was wondering why he had done this. It had also taken three bottles of beer and half a bottle of whiskey to calm down his brother who was still shocked that angels really existed. It had been kind of funny but once Sam had gone to sleep – on the sofa knocked out cold by the alcohol – Dean's mind had begun racing. He turned from one side to the other, Missy making sounds of disapproval but he didn't care right now and caressed her soft spot under her skin in apology. The moon was shining through the blinds, it was close to full moon, so the light was bright and made it even harder for Dean to sleep. His mind wandered back to the night he had slept spent in Castiel's arms and he was sure that he would never sleep so deep again in his entire life. Not without Cas being around.

The moonlight seemed to get brighter with every second and when Dean was sure that it REALLY got brighter he sat up in bed and his black cat fell from his chest into his lap, mewing impatiently. This wasn't normal. A beam of light formed and illuminated the space in front of his window getting so impossibly bright that Dean shielded his eyes for a few seconds. When he lowered his hand again everything was back to normal, the moon was shining in through the blinds, nothing more. He wanted to lie down again, thinking that this was some kind of airplane or helicopter but then he spotted something on the floor by the window.

"Shit." He whispered under his breath when he got up to walk over to the pale heap that was lying on his carpet. His heart raced and he grabbed the baseball bat he kept next to his bed firmly in his hands because the heap fuckin' moved! There was an intruder in his house – again – and Dean wouldn't let him do something to Sammy. Not while he was alive. "Okay, now. Get up stranger, or I'll beat the shit out of you!" He snarled while slowly coming closer.

When the pile of limbs moved again black hair came into view and the face and eyes that turned towards Dean made him fall to his knees right in front of the man. Within seconds he had gathered the naked man in his arms and buried his face in between his neck and shoulder inhaling the well known scent that aroused him instantly. "Cas… God, Cas, what happened." He breathed into raven black hair and rocked them back and forth slowly. He couldn't believe what was happening, holding the angel in his arms again seemed so unreal. "Is this really you?" The other man clung to him for dear life, holding Dean pressed against his naked body, happy to be back on earth.

"Yes, Dean." The raspy voice Dean adored so much whispered back. "I won't leave you again, I swear." Dean got up from the floor, helping Cas stand as well, still close to him and when they stood the angel grabbed his face firmly with one hand to press their lips together. The kiss was far from innocent, instantly a warm tongue slipped into Dean's mouth and the human moaned while shivers wandered down his spine soon replaced by Castiel's hands who stroked the sensitive flesh in the middle of Dean's back lovingly. "I love you, Cas." Dean whispered into the others mouth. He had to say it, Cas needed to hear it again. "I love you so much."

"Shh… I got you, Dean. And I love you, too." Cas looked up into green eyes, unable to resist showering Dean's face with feather light kisses, his hands never stopping to touch every inch of Dean he could reach. Thank God the human still slept naked. Relief flooded Dean when he finally was sure that Cas was real and all the stress and sadness vanished into thin air. Something clicked into place when they kissed, a missing piece of a puzzle that he had once known but lost. Here he was in his arms, alive and well and so beautiful that Dean couldn't breathe when he looked into those wonderful, huge blue eyes of his lover.

"Why are you here? I thought the angels wouldn't let you be with me." Dean asked when Cas released his mouth to gently kiss his way over the slightly taller man's cheek towards his ear.

"Hush, love." Cas mouthed breathlessly. "We can talk later. I need to feel you, now, Dean." Said man groaned in response to the angel's words, unable to resist. How could he when Castiel was placing such urgent kisses on his neck, his hands driving him nearly insane with lust. With slow and careful steps Cas walked Dean back to his bed until the back of his knees hit the mattress. They stopped for a while, looking into each others eyes, still not believing that this was real though they were touching each other so eagerly. "You're mine, Dean." Cas whispered and cupped the human's face with gentle fingers, holding his face up while sucking on his neck to leave marks for the world to see. The Older Winchester didn't mind being marked, he enjoyed the slightly painful kisses to no end, his legs threatening to give in from pure pleasure.

Cas made the final step towards the bed, forcing Dean to fall onto his rear on the soft covers looking up at the raven haired longingly. When he held out his hands, Castiel climbed above him, pressing his cheek into the warm palm of the human, loving the gentle touch. Every little inch of flesh on Dean's body was revealed to the former angel and he loved what he saw, drank in the sight of his lover's arousal that grew even harder when Dean saw Castiel lick his pink lips. "Waht do you want me to do, Dean?" He asked hoarsely, shivering with need. He would do whatever the other man wanted him to do and from the way Dean was watching his mouth and tongue while his erect member twitched, made Cas smile.

"Please Cas. Don't be a tease. Just take me already." Dean pleaded, a faraway part of his brain wondering how he ended up being so submissive, begging to be taken.

"I won't do anything if you don't tell me what you want." The angel growled and lay down between his human's thighs, fitting perfectly in between his legs. Hot breath danced over Dean's length and made him moan out loud.

"Your mouth, feathers. Please..." A scream was torn from the man's kiss-swollen lips as Cas complied and lazily sucked Dean's tip into his mouth, circling it with his tongue. Tanned fingers grabbed the sheets and a well toned back arched off the mattress, Dean was already seeing stars, he was so damn exited that he wouldn't last long if Cas went on like this. His hands wandered into raven hair and pulled, trying to make him release his member but Cas wouldn't have it. With a wet noise his lips finally let go off Dean and he looked up his lover's body.

Dean's eyes were screwed shut, he was panting hard, concentrating on not coming, he needed Castiel in him, so he had to last. "I'll come if you don't stop." Dean whispered, breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling with each shuddering breath.

"I already stopped, love." Cas smiled and sat up to lower his body onto Dean's, letting their erections slide together.

"Holy shit, Cas, I – fuck!" Dean swore under his breath, profanities leaving his mouth while his lover moved slowly on top of him, creating a friction that would soon drive him over the edge while fire burnt down his spine to pool between his legs. He opened them wide for the angel, ready to be taken, begging to be marked. "Take me already. I want to feel you."

"Shhh..." Cas cooed with his hand gently rubbing up Dean's arms until he reached the wrists. He grabbed them firmly and crossed them above the human's head with one hand, the other stroking up and down over every breathtaking muscle covered by perfect, soft skin. "I will make you scream with pleasure. You will be mine." Cas growled before he claimed Dean's mouth in a kiss, his tongue stroking Dean's while his hand caressed the hard flesh of his manhood between his fingers. "I will mark you as my possession."

The blonde didn't oblige, his body writhed helplessly, he was aroused to no end, ready to be claimed, waiting for Cas to come closer, gasping when he felt the angel fingering him open, moaning wildly when skilled fingers found his sweet spot. "Please, Cas. Please..." He panted, trying to get his hands free from his lover's iron grasp but Cas didn't let them free, adding to Dean's pleasure. Fuck, this was hot. He would never have guessed, that the angel could be so demanding when it came down to love making. When they had done it the first time he had already been surprised but this was downright HOT!

When the fingers were withdrawn Dean gave an unmanly whimper, feeling empty, pressing his hips up, offering himself to his angel. "Please..."

Cas had mercy on him then, he entered his body slowly but mercilessly until he was fully sheathed in tight heat, establishing a punishing rhythm. "Mine!" Castiel growled, his hips meeting Dean's with a loud slapping noise and as he hit that spot with his member, Dean threw his head back in pleasure, opened his wicked red lips and screamed. Cas pulled out of his body nearly completely, waiting a few seconds before smoothly sliding back in, enjoying the noises his human made under him.

Dean was lost, all he felt was Castiel, he belonged to him, he was made for him. His soul sang with joy while his body arched in pleasure. It didn't take long for both to pant hard and with a lusty moan from Cas and a scream torn from Dean's lips, the angel released himself in the male's body, riding the waves of his orgasm until he was fully empty. Dean was shaking from exhaustion, his body going limp but Castiel gathered him in his arms and made him sit in his lap to wrap his strong arms around him.

"I'm not even close to being done with you, Dean." Cas whispered into Dean's ear making his member twitch with interest in the human's lap. "I will have you again." And oh, how he had him. Cas took Dean in every way possible, he pressed him onto his stomach to slowly pound into him, against the wall, on the floor, by the window...

When they finally fell into the pillows, Dean was totally spent. He had never been so tired, but he had also never been so damn happy. He listened to Cas' soft voice that gently lulled him to a peaceful sleep.

XxX

Strong arms were wrapped securely around Dean's chest and stomach, his back pressed against Cas' chest while the other man still nuzzled his neck, kissing him gently, sometimes burying his nose in his lover's hair. Dean was tired beyond belief and the sun was already rising but he refused to sleep afraid that he would wake up and find that it had all been a dream. But Cas was here, he was so alive, he could still feel what the angel had done to his body. After some time of just lying there, regaining his breath, Dean turned around in Cas' arms to face him. The raven haired man smiled at him, his blue eyes soft and so full of love that Dean was nearly tempted to do it again with him but he held himself back, he wanted to know what had happened that they could finally be together.

"How come I see you again?" He asked, his fingers idly brushing through Castiel's hair, the man leaning into his touch willingly.

"I traded my grace to be with you." Cas answered and earned a puzzled look from Dean.

"Your grace?"

"My angelic powers. Gabriel told me that your soul was slowly withering and that the Righteous Man was close to falling. The archangels decided that they couldn't risk it but they also couldn't risk to have an angel walking the earth. So Gabriel took my powers and wings from me to make me human." The explanation was simple and Cas said it as if it was nothing but it left Dean shocked because Cas had done this all just for him.

"No! Cas, why?" This strange reaction puzzled Cas, he had thought that Dean would be happy with his decision.

"Because I love you, Dean. I want to be with you." The former angel said, his voice small and unsure due to Dean's strong reaction. With a deep sigh his human enveloped him in his arms, pressing him close against a well toned chest, his face buried in Dean's neck.

"You gave up everything you have? Your family and life? To be with ME?" Dean asked, disbelief in his words. A nod against his chest, black hair tickling his chin, making him lean down to press a kiss into unruly locks. "No one has ever done something like this for me…" The words were muttered more to himself than to Cas but it made his angel smile nevertheless. "Won't you miss being an angel?"

"Not as long as I got you."

They lay in bed for a long while, simply enjoying each others presence, their hands gently roaming over naked skin to make sure that the other was real. When it was mid-morning, they heard something move downstairs, cups were taken out of the cupboard, the coffee machine was working and a chair was moved from the table. Cas looked up with utter shock in his eyes and listened. "Someone's in your house." He said under his breath but Dean just pulled him back down to place his head on his shoulder, hand gliding into soft hair.

"Yeah. Sammy. Guess he rose from the dead to get himself some coffee." Dean answered and yawned. Cas sat up again.

"Sammy?"

"My brother. He got here last night because… well… I guess I was a little bit gloomy over the last weeks. I told him my story and he didn't believe me until Gabriel appeared. You should meet him. He will really like you." Blue eyes widened and a beautiful blush crept onto Castiel's cheeks. It was sweet and made Dean want to kiss his lover again. When his lips were released, Cas was still red.

"He was here the whole night? Surely he has heard us." A hearty laugh was torn from Dean's lips, the crinkles next to his eyes getting deeper, making Cas admiring them.

"First: he is dead to the world once he falls asleep and nothing can wake him up. Believe me, I tried. And second." Dean sat up to lean over Castiel, looking down into this beautifully flustered face. "Do you really care?" When Cas didn't answer and just continued to look embarrassed, Dean kissed his lips carefully, slowly. "Guess that's some angel-leftovers in you. We will work to get that out of you. I never thought you would care. After all it was you doing all those naughty things to me…." The blush on Cas' face turned even deeper. "Don't regret it, don't feel embarrassed. I like it. And you, too." Another kiss to those lush pink lips. "Now get dressed, I want you to meet my brother." Castiel's face changed to another unhappy expression.

"I don't have any clothes. I came here naked." Maybe it had been some strange joke of Gabriel but Cas wasn't sure.

"You can wear some of mine until we buy you some." Dean offered but Cas' face fell even more, now.

"I don't have a job, I don't have money. I cannot buy clothes or anything. I don't even know where to live. I…" Cas was interrupted when Dean grabbed his face and silenced him with a breathtaking kiss, his tongue sliding into Cas' mouth, shutting him up effectively.

"Don't think about all this. First things first. I'll care for everything you need and once we get you settled to this new life, we can find you a nice job." Green eyes softened even further. "And do you really think I would let you stay anywhere else but here with me?"

"Thank you, Dean."

"Now let's go down and introduce you to Sammy." Dean smiled. "I'm so glad you're here."

::THE END::

I really, really, really hope you liked it!

Please leave a review.

Thank you for reading!

Goodbye for now!


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